The Belt of Truth (Ephesians 6:14)

Today, we will look at the belt of truth. With it being the first piece of armor we put on, we will learn today that truth is central to the Christian faith. Without it, we unravel. Without it, we're fools. Without it, we're left walking in darkness. But, with it, we find life, freedom, and hope. If we want to stand firm against the enemy's attacks, we must embrace truth.

Let's dive in.

"Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace."

The first thing I want us to unpack is the command to stand. Paul says, "Stand, therefore..." "Therefore" links what is about to be said with what was just said. So, we must stand firm because an enemy is lurking, seeking to harm us. We must fasten the belt of truth because that enemy will attack us with lies.

Notice that Paul doesn't call us to charge, nor does he call us to flee. We are to stand firm, ready to hold the ground as the enemy moves in our direction. And, as we prepare to stand, we "fasten on the belt of truth…"

As a parent of young children, you seek to teach them how to dress independently. Getting a teenager dressed for school every morning would be irresponsible and, honestly, a bit awkward. So, notice who is responsible for fastening the belt here. The responsibility falls on the shoulders of the believer and no one else. In the words of Martyn Lloyd-Jones, "The girdle is not put on us; we have to put it on, and we have to put it firmly in position." Ignorance is not how we combat the lies of the enemy; it's how we are duped into believing the lies of the enemy. So, if we are going to be able to withstand the attacks of Satan, we must fasten truth tightly around our waist.

Friends, I'm fearful that the modern-day church is full of a bunch of spiritual teenagers who are still waiting for Mom and Dad to get them dressed. The belt of truth is sitting on the dresser, collecting dust, and we're walking through life exposed because we're too lazy to pick it up. So, pick up your belt and tighten it around your waist because the father of lies is throwing darts and swinging swords.

Now, there are three things I want to highlight regarding the purpose of a soldier's belt.

When we think about a belt, we likely think about a thin piece of leather that we slide between multiple loops in our pants to hold our pants up. That's certainly part of the function of a belt. A belt was used during this time to hold up and fasten robes/skirts for greater freedom of movement. The fastening of a belt was a preparation for action. It was symbolic, if you will, of a transition from leisure to activity. Like trying to win a wrestling match against Conor Mcgregor in a size 46 pants and no belt, a believer stands no chance in wrestling against the spiritual powers of the world of darkness without the belt of truth.

But, there was more to a belt than this. A belt was a vital part of a soldier's armor because it was the instrument that held one's dagger and sword in place. Half of the Christian battle is defensive, while the other half is offensive. So, the fastening of a belt enables the soldier to keep their weapons close. But a belt also offered protection. At the front of a Roman soldier's belt were loose thongs of leather intended to protect his thighs and groin region. So, a belt protected some of the soldier's most vulnerable areas. Without the belt, a soldier was left exposed to attack.

Now, let's spend some time unpacking the truth we must put on. What truth should we put on? As I consulted various commentators this week, I found two different interpretations here.

Some understand this to be "the truth," the revelation of God in Christ and Scripture. This means we are to fasten the truth of God around our waist to withstand the enemy's lies. In the words of NT Wright, "Never give up on the sheer truth of the gospel. It's like the belt which holds everything else together and in place." Others understand it to mean truthfulness, the act of being truthful. Walking in falsehood opens you up to various attacks of the enemy; therefore, we ought to put on truthfulness. In the words of John Stott, "To be deceitful, to lapse into hypocrisy, to resort to intrigue and scheming, this is to play the devil's game, and we shall not be able to beat him at his own game. What he abominates is transparent truth. He loves darkness; light causes him to flee. For spiritual and mental health, honesty about oneself is indispensable."

So, which is it? Are we to put on the truth of God? Or are we to put on truthfulness?

Yes.

We must fasten the truth of the gospel around our waist. But, to embrace the truth of the gospel, we must embrace the truth about ourselves. And when we embrace the truth about ourselves, we should begin to speak truthfully to others. Those who have embraced the truth of the gospel will begin to embrace a life of truthfulness.

Contrary to what some might claim, truth is central to the Christian faith. We don't rally around hypotheticals. The Bible is a historically accurate book full of real stories about real people. God really did create all things. Adam and Eve really were deceived, and they really did sin. God really did promise to crush Satan under his foot. God really did call Abraham, and he really did promise to bless the nations through him. God really made David into a great king, and he really promised to send a greater King one day who would rule for all eternity. God really did promise to send one who would be pierced and crushed for our sins.

Jesus really is that promised one. He really came, born of a virgin, just as God promised through real people. He really came proclaiming good news to the poor and liberty to the captives, just like God promised through real people. He really came to recover the sight of the blind, just like God promised through real people. He was really despised and rejected by his own people, just like God promised through real people. He really marched to the cross and died for our sins, just like God promised through real people. He really rose from the grave and returned to the Father, just like God promised through real people. God is really creating a united and diverse people in Jesus throughout the whole earth, just like God promised through real people.

God is a God of truth. He cannot lie. Therefore, we can trust what he says in his Word. But here's what is crucial for us to understand regarding truth. The Bible calls us to study the Scriptures closely so that we can discern what is true and what is false. We don't unquestioningly and blindly accept everything as factual. 1 John 4:1 says, "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world." So, we should be eager to examine the Scriptures daily to discern what is true and false.

Now, if a fundamental element of the Christian faith is embracing truth, then a fundamental element of the work of Satan is to attack truth. Satan is the father of lies, and his primary objective is to muddy the waters around the truth.

In Genesis 1-2, God creates man in his own image. He blesses them, puts them in the garden, and says, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." In Genesis 3, the serpent comes and questions God's command. He said to Eve, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?'" This leads to Eve saying, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'" The serpent then lures her into eating the forbidden fruit by saying, "You will not surely die." Satan's favorite trick is to attack truth. He loves to muddy the waters of truth. So, to walk in Christian faithfulness, we need to know what the Bible says. We need to know the truth if we're going to withstand the enemy's attacks.

There's an interesting exchange between Jesus and the Jews in John 8. After telling the Jews that he came to offer them freedom from bondage, the Jews mockingly respond, "We're sons of Abraham; we've never been enslaved to anyone."

Jesus says, "Yeah, that may be true. But everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. I'm doing what my Father told me to do, and you're doing what your father told you to do."

This leads to them saying again, "Our father is Abraham."

To which Jesus responds, "No. If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing what Abraham did. But, you're rejecting me and trying to kill me, which is the work of your father, the devil."

So, what Jesus is doing is he's drawing a line in the sand, and he's saying we all have one of two fathers: the devil (the father of lies) or God (the father of truth).

And the beautiful invitation is that if we embrace the truth about Christ, we can become children of God. But, to embrace the truth about Christ, we must also embrace the truth about ourselves, which isn't pretty. The truth about you and me is that we are wicked and rebellious sinners. The truth about you and me is that we often prefer darkness over light. The reality is that we would be mortified if all our thoughts, words, and actions were publicized.

Therefore, Satan tempts us to embrace a lie about ourselves. Just like the Jews Jesus was speaking to, he tempts us into believing that we are inherently good. He tempts us to think we don't need to be saved. But the truth is, we need freedom. We need saving. We need healing. We need transforming. We need grace.

John, in John 1, says that "the word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth." So, John is saying that the radiant and majestic glory of Jesus was full of grace and truth. Jesus was seen as one who was not just a little gracious; he was full of grace, not lacking an ounce of grace. And he was not partially true; he was full of truth, not lacking a drop of honesty. Jesus is not gracious at one moment and truthful the next. He doesn't set aside grace when it's time to be truthful, nor does he set aside truth when it's time to be gracious. When he's gracious, he's truthful. When he's truthful, he is gracious. He's full to the brim of both grace and truth. Not an ounce of either is ever lacking.

So we don't have to hide behind a mask with God. We can look at ourselves in the mirror honestly and come to Him truthfully. And when we come to him truthfully and fully, we will always be met with grace, love, and forgiveness. God will lovingly say, "I hate the sin you have done, and I have forgiven you fully because my Son has drank the full cup of my wrath on your behalf. So, go and sin no more." So, to embrace the truth about Jesus, we must embrace the truth about ourselves. And once we embrace the truth about ourselves, coming to the light, we will experience joy and freedom like no other, leading to us walking in truthfulness for the rest of our days.

Put simply, truth embraced should lead to truth lived. Those who have come to the light should then begin to walk in the light. There's no reason to walk in falsehood anymore. So, pick up the belt of truth and tie it tightly around your waist.

When Satan comes and accuses you, you can point to the cross and say, "My sins are forgiven." When you've sinned, and Satan tempts you to hide in shame, you remind yourself that God is gracious and that freedom and healing come on the other side of confession. When we're tempted to think that a lie will lead to a better perception, a better job, or more fame, we remind ourselves that losing the world through truth is better than gaining the world through a lie.

The armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-13)

When my great-grandmother, Mama Ruby, passed away, I was gifted a set of her commentaries. One day, as I was reading through them, I found a small piece of paper that she used as a bookmark. On it were the words, "The Christian life is not a playground but a battleground."

I don't believe there's a better summary for our passage today than those ten words penned by Mama Ruby. Here in Ephesians 6:10-20, we will learn that an enemy is lurking who is out to steal, kill, and destroy, and he will do anything but sit back and watch the church grow and flourish. He and his little kingdom are waging war against the church, and we are a part of a spiritual battle. So, as Paul is closing out this letter to the churches in Ephesus, he's telling the church that they must always be alert and fully dressed for combat.

There's a saying out there that goes, "Ignorance is bliss." I think that's perhaps one of the most misleading statements regarding the Christian faith. Ignorance is not always bliss. To be ignorant that a spiritual battle is taking place right now is to open yourself up to tremendous spiritual danger. In fact, I would argue that one of the greatest dangers is to be unaware of posing threats. But fortunately for us, God is drawing our attention to an enemy lurking, and he's calling and equipping us for battle. God cares about us enough to point out danger and loves us enough to equip us to combat danger.

Today, we will look at two commands: the command to be strong and the command to put on the whole armor of God. Then, for the next seven weeks, we will unpack the implications of this general exhortation.

Let's dive in.

"[10] Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. [11] Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. [12] For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. [13] Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."

The first thing we see is the word "finally." Finally is an "icing on the cake" word. It implies important information regarding everything that has previously been said. In the same way that cake without icing is dull and bland, Ephesians without these verses are incomplete and ineffective. To live out what we've been called to in Ephesians, we must "be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might." We cannot walk in obedience to Jesus without the power of the Holy Spirit working.

There are two things I want to highlight here: (1) the call to be strong and (2) the source of our strength.

BE STRONG

There's a saying, "Let go and let God," which implies a victory found in a lack of effort. Perhaps there are moments when we need to let go of a situation and let God take control. But perhaps there are also moments when we need to try so that God can work through us. The Christian faith is not passive; it is active. "Be strong in the Lord," Paul says. The Christian life demands effort; it necessitates strength. If we want to lift a lot of weight, we must be physically strong. If we want to walk in Christian faithfulness, we must be spiritually strong. If we want to honor the Lord, we must be prepared to exert effort.

IN THE STRENGTH OF HIS MIGHT

But, notice how the strength we are to be strong in here isn't our strength— "Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."

One of the most extraordinary graces of the Christian life resides in the fact that God doesn't simply call you to be strong; he gives you the strength to be strong. The Christian life isn't meant to be lived in our own strength; it's meant to be lived in God's strength. This is the same word Paul uses in Philippians 4:13 when he says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." So, you do not possess the power and ability to fight the good fight alone; you need the Lord's strength. And thankfully, God offers you strength.

Now, check this out. The three different words used here to signify power (strong: dynamis, strength: kratos, might ischus) are the exact words used in Ephesians 1:19 concerning God's work in raising Jesus from the dead. God has done some powerful things throughout history. But, we learned in Ephesians 1 that the death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus are the ultimate display of power to us as believers. And it's this power that has been extended to us today. It's this power that resides within us today. God doesn't call us to be strong in our own strength, nor has he given us second-hand strength. He has given us himself; in return, we have his power.

PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD

In addition to putting on God's strength, we are to put on his armor— "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil." Notice how, like the strength we lean into, the armor we put on is God's armor, not our armor. God gives us armor to protect us from the devil's attacks.

Looking at the word armor in the New Testament, I noticed this term isn't often used. It's used twice in Ephesians 6 and once in Luke 11. But, all three uses were in a spiritual context.

In Luke 11, for example, Jesus was accused of casting out a demon by the spirit of Beelzebul, the prince of demons. In response, Jesus says, "Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls." So, he's picking up kingdom language, and in doing so, he's comparing two kingdoms: a kingdom of darkness and a kingdom of light, a demonic kingdom and God's kingdom. And he's essentially saying, "If I was who you say I am, I would be waging war against my own kingdom, which makes no sense at all." He's calling them to ponder what they're accusing him of.

He then goes on to say, "But if it is by the finger of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are safe; but when one stronger than he attacks him and overcomes him, he takes away his armor in which he trusted and divides his spoil." So, he's saying that he can either be the prince of demons or the prince of peace. If he's the prince of demons, he's waging war against his own kingdom. If he's the prince of peace, he's ushering in God's kingdom, waging war against the kingdom of darkness.

Jesus is demonstrating that he is far more powerful than the spiritual powers of this world. It's not by the arms or legs of God that the demons are cast out; it's by the finger of God that Jesus casts them out, stripping them of their armor and dividing their spoils, leaving them in total ruin. Like flicking an ant off the picnic table, Jesus casts out the fully armed guards of the kingdom of darkness.

So, in marrying these two passages (Ephesians 6 and Luke 11), by the power of the one who cast out demons with a subtle flick, we can put on the whole armor of God and withstand the schemes of the devil. Offensively, the gates of hell will not prevail against the church. It's a lost battle for Satan. Jesus has powerfully disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame by triumphing over them on the cross. And defensively, we can stand against the devil's schemes by the power of Jesus. Satan does not possess the power and ability to overtake those who are in Christ. He can attack you, but he cannot overtake you. He can tempt you, but he cannot destroy you.

WHO IS THE DEVIL?

Now, I find it interesting that Paul doesn't give us a long dissertation on who the devil is; instead, he assumes his readers already have a pretty good understanding of who he is. I think, in part, that is because they're already familiar with the devil and his works. In Acts 19, we see a group of Jewish exorcists coming to Ephesus to cast out demons. But, the evil spirit answers them, "Jesus I know, and Paul I recognize, but who are you?" The possessed man then jumps on the seven men and overpowers them, leading to them running out of the house naked and wounded. It says that this became known to all the residents of Ephesus, both Jews and Greeks, and fear fell upon them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was extolled.

The churches in Ephesus are well acquainted with demonic activity. They're not strangers to dark spiritual activities. And they know firsthand that Jesus is greater. So, as we read through Ephesians, we see Paul alluding to Satan and demons more frequently than we might realize.

In Ephesians 2, we see Paul say that we were “dead in our trespasses and sins in which we once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience." In simpler terms, Paul is saying that before we trusted in Jesus, we were following the leadership of Satan. In Ephesians 3, we see the manifold wisdom being made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. We learned that this was in reference to spiritual beings such as angels and demons. While studying this verse, we learned that angels and demons are real spiritual beings that are not all-powerful or all-knowing.

The name devil means false accuser or slanderer. The devil is the prince of the power of the air, meaning he is the prince of demons and the author of evil. His sole goal is to bring you harm and destroy God's creation. His primary objective is to steal, kill, and destroy. We see him act this way in the garden when he tempts Adam and Eve into eating the forbidden fruit. We see him act this way with Job, seeking to bring harm, pain, and misery upon Job, hoping that Job will no longer worship God. We see this with Jesus when the Holy Spirit leads him into the wilderness to be tempted by Satan. Satan tempted Jesus with the hopes of him abandoning obedience to the Father. We see this when Satan stands at the right hand of the high priest, Joshua, accusing him in Zechariah 3.

Satan never has plans for good, and he's hardly idle. He's seeking to bring great harm to you and this world. But he does so discreetly. Satan is a schemer. The Greek word for "schemes" means cunning arts, deceit, craft, tricky. It's the idea of hiding and waiting to deceive and harm. Satan will try to destroy you by tricking you.

In adopting the words of 1 Peter 5:8, "Our adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." Satan rarely attacks in the open. He prefers the shadows over the light. Sometimes, his attacks are loud and blatant. But more often, they are quiet whispers. Like a mad chemist, he seeks to mix harmful lies with partial truths and serve as foundational doctrines for us to embrace. And every sip we take leads to our demise. Like a true con artist, he feeds us lies, promising us pleasure or prosperity. But, in the end, it leads to death.

Satan is trying to destroy you by tricking you. Therefore, we need the armor of God.

A LIFE OF WRESTLING

Paul then says, "[12] For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

Wrestling implies we are engaged in hand-to-hand combat with spiritual forces. We are not innocent bystanders; we are on the frontlines engaged in battle. The Christian life is not a playground but a battleground. We need the strength of the Lord and the armor of God because we are actively engaging against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. The language here for "rulers, authorities, cosmic powers, spiritual forces" is kingdom language. There is a spiritual world, if you will, an invisible kingdom that we are engaging with that we cannot see.

Going back to Ephesians 2, we were once following the prince of the power of the air, the leader of this world, the kingdom of darkness. But now, we belong to God's kingdom. Our residence has changed. We are no longer dead; we are alive. We are children of light, not children of darkness. And now that we belong to God, we wrestle against darkness instead of following it. Because of this, we must take up the whole armor of God, so that we may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. We put on the armor of God so that when Satan and his army come marching to our door, we're ready to stand firm.

The Christian life is not always easy. There will be seasons when the fiery darts are soaring in your direction. There will be times when swords are heaved at you. There will be seasons of weariness and desperation. But God gives us strength, and he gives us armor to withstand the attacks of the enemy. And having done all that we can to stand firm, we will prevail by God's strength and grace.

Now, who does Paul not say we wrestle against? We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. We are called to battle against those that we cannot see. This is essential for us to understand. Sometimes, I fear that we read verses like this, and we think it's an endorsement to be mean and combative with our neighbors. No! The mark of a mature Christian is not your ability to win a wrestling match online. The mark of a mature Christian is to put on the love of Christ. A mature believer's mark is found in one's willingness to embrace and preach truth with a gentle, kind, loving, and patient heart.

So, perhaps conflict has entered into some of your relationships within the church; remember that the church is not your enemy. Perhaps conflict has entered your marriage; remember that your spouse is not your enemy. Perhaps you've been deeply hurt by a boss or coworker; remember, they are not your enemy. Satan is a master manipulator, and he is seeking to kill, steal, and destroy. It is those that we cannot see that we wrestle against.

So, when Satan tempts us with bitterness, we choose forgiveness. When Satan tempts us with envy, we choose contentment. When Satan tempts us with lust, we choose love. When Satan tempts us with doubt, we choose faith. We do not fight against flesh and blood, but against those we cannot see.

GOD > SATAN

As we close, I want to remind us that God and Satan are not equal. If I were to ask you what the opposite of left is, you would say right. If I were to ask you what the opposite of up is, you would say down. If I were to ask you what the opposite of God is, you might say the devil. But that isn't true. To say God and Satan are opposites would be to say that they're on a level playing field, but that simply isn't true. Satan cannot take a step, nor can he take a breath without the approval of the Sovereign Lord of all. Satan was able to test Job when God allowed him to. Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil (Lk. 4:1). No fiery dart shot in your direction, no swing of the enemy's sword, falls outside the approval of the one who gives us strength. So, put your armor on and stand firm in hope!

Ephesians 6:5-9

Ephesians is a beautiful book, a necessary letter written to the churches in Ephesus. It carefully lays out the beauty of the gospel, and it clearly articulates how it applies to our day-to-day lives. No facet of the Christian life should be left untouched by Jesus. God's love seeps deep into his people's hearts, transforming them into ambassadors of Christ. Those who have experienced the profound love of Christ will want to worship him through joyful obedience.

For the past few weeks, we've been looking at how we can worship Jesus within the home as ambassadors of Christ. Wives can worship Jesus by submitting to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, husbands can worship Jesus by loving their wives as Christ loves the church, and children can worship Jesus by obeying and honoring their parents. Well, today, we will look at how slaves and masters can worship Jesus through their interaction with one another.

This topic should leave a lump in our throat, making us uncomfortable. Slavery is a shameful, dirty, and wicked stain on the history of our country. Thankfully, it has been abolished and is no longer. But it's still an ugly reality of our past. So, there should be a rightful tension in our hearts as we dive into this topic.

As a country that claims to have been founded on Christian principles, some have even used this passage as an endorsement of slavery. But I think we will learn today that Ephesians 6:5-9 is the farthest thing from an endorsement of such oppressive actions. Ephesians 6:5-9 is a call to bestow honor on all people. In these five verses, we find the reminder that there is no partiality with God. God calls us to bestow honor on the poor and the rich, the slave and the master, the employee and the employer, the deserving and the undeserving. Your bank account or your social status has no sway with God. God treats all people fairly, and so should we.

Today, we will have to do some groundwork upfront to understand who Paul is writing to and what he's calling them to do. However, once we understand this passage in its original context, we will seek to draw an application for our passage today. In doing so, we will learn that God calls us to always work for the Lord, not man. If you have a good boss, honor him because it honors the Lord. If you have a bad boss, honor him because it honors the Lord. If you have good employees, respect them because it honors the Lord. If you have bad employees, respect them because it honors the Lord. It doesn't matter who you are or what position you find yourself in; you are always called to treat people the way you would want to be treated in the workplace.

Let's dive in.

"[5] Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, [6] not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, [7] rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, [8] knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. [9] Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him."

WHAT IS A BONDSERVANT?

The first question we must ask today is, "What is a bondservant?"

The term bondservant is the Greek word doulos, which means a servant or a slave. It's someone who has been placed under the authority of another. It's someone who works for someone else. It's someone under the possession of another.

Depending upon which historian or commentator you read, the estimated number/percentage of the slave population varies. For example, one historian estimated that there were approximately 60,000,000 slaves in the Roman Empire. Others estimated that slaves made up anywhere between 20 and 40% of the Roman population, while others estimated that as many as two-thirds of the Empire were slaves.

We obviously can't know the exact number or percentage. But, we can safely conclude that slavery was an integral part of society during this time. Therefore, it's safe to conclude that a good portion of the churches in Ephesus consisted of men and women who were slaves at this time.

During this time, some would become bondservants either voluntarily or involuntarily. For example, Paul often describes himself and others in the Christian faith as a "bondservant of Christ." In doing so, he's saying, "Although Christ has set us free, we have voluntarily put ourselves under the good authority of Christ. He's a master we love and trust. Therefore, we have willingly given up our rights to life and given ourselves to serving Him."

Although this term can be used in the context of a voluntary position in Scripture, we must understand that it was not the norm during this time. One commentator noted that people often became slaves through various avenues such as "birth, parental selling or abandonment, captivity in war, inability to pay debts, and voluntary attempts to better one's condition." So, in the same way that we don't know the number of slaves, we don't know what has led them to become slaves. But, I think it's safe to conclude that many of them were in this position, not by choice, but by force.

DOES PAUL ENDORSE SLAVERY?

Slavery in Rome, like slavery in America, was commonly known as an abusive and degrading institution. But, despite this commonality, there were a couple of fundamental differences between slavery in Roman culture and slavery in America.

One difference is that contrary to what we have grown to know in our society today, slavery in Rome wasn't based on race. Another difference was that many slaves were more educated than their owners, leading to them doing all types of work (management, oversight, etc.). Slaves possessed many rights and privileges that everyone else in society possessed. And I think the key difference resides in the fact that slaves could own property and buy freedom. In fact, it's believed that many gained freedom around the age of 30.

I think this helps shed light on why it seems like Paul isn't overtly condemning slavery at this moment in time. And I want to take a moment to address that.

We obviously live in a country that has been plagued by the ugly stain of slavery. Unfortunately, we live in a country where we would take ships to other countries to purchase men, women, and children that were ripped from their families and bring them back to our country where they would never see their families again. It's embarrassing that we live in a country where slaves had no rights or privileges. And it's terrible that some used passages like Ephesians 6 to justify such actions.

So, we need to answer the question, "Why doesn't Paul here specifically prohibit slavery?" In other words, does the Bible's lack of prohibition against slavery at this time act as an endorsement for slavery in our time?

The simple answer here is "No."  And here's a few reasons why:

First, many have alluded to the fact that many slaves were freed constantly and easily during this time. As I just mentioned, it's believed that many slaves would be able to buy freedom by the age of 30. Some go on to claim that between 81 and 49 BC, 500,000 Roman slaves were freed from bondage.

Second, multiple commentators have highlighted the lack of political power present in the church during this time. As one commentator puts it, "Their religion was itself still unlawful, and they were politically powerless." So, it would have been unrealistic for the church to be able to completely eradicate something so interwoven into the fabric of their society. Therefore, the Bible addresses how the church should act within the state of their society as followers of Jesus.

But, I want us to also understand that the Bible has always been more concerned with the heart of people than the laws of man. Laws are important. Good laws are necessary for a healthy society. But no law is capable of transforming the hearts of men. Nothing would change if the Bible addressed a city's laws and not the hearts of its inhabitants.

Think about the state of our society, for example. Praise God, we live in a society where slavery has been abolished. But just because slavery has been abolished, that doesn't mean oppression has been eradicated. We still live in a country where the rich profit off the poor. Although everyone may have the same legal rights, not everyone has been afforded the same legal opportunities. So, it may seem like the Bible is quiet in its prohibition of slavery. But that's the farthest thing from the truth. The Bible here addresses the heart of man, not the laws of their town. And in doing so, it is shouting from the rooftops that all people should be treated equally, with dignity, love, and respect. It doesn't matter if you're the slave or the master; you must love and respect your neighbor.

As the book of Proverbs puts it, "The rich and the poor meet together; the LORD is the Maker of them all (Prov. 22:2)." Or, as the book of Galatians puts it, "In Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus (Gal. 3:28)."

So, no. The Bible might not have commanded God's people to rush to the courthouse to abolish slavery. But, all throughout the Bible, we see God calling his people to treat one another with love, respect, and dignity. God is addressing the heart of his people.

HOW TO GLORIFY GOD AS A SLAVE?

What I want to do now is unpack what Paul says to the slave and master. How can the slave and master glorify God in their relationship with one another? As we unpack these verses, I want us to ask ourselves, "How does this apply to me in the workplace?"

Let's first look at the slave. How does Paul say a slave can glorify God?

The first thing we see is that the slave can glorify God by obeying their master. We can honor God at work by obeying our boss. The word obey is the same word used in verse 1. It means to do as you are told. It's the same word used in the gospels to describe the response of the wind and waves whenever Jesus rebuked them. When Jesus told the wind and waves to stop, they obeyed and stopped.

This is a concept that is so countercultural in our day and age. We live in a society that hates instruction. We hate to be told what to do. But God is telling us that obeying our bosses is good. So, we can glorify God by obeying our earthly masters.

But, as we continue to read, we learn that God cares about how we obey. Obedience with a bad heart or bad motives is ultimately disobedience to God. So, how should we obey our earthly masters?

Paul says we should obey our bosses respectfully— "obey your masters with fear and trembling."

The word for fear and trembling here actually means fear and trembling. It's the same word used to describe the guards seeing the angel of the Lord when they became as dead men (Mt. 28:3); it's the same word used to describe the disciples when they saw Jesus rebuked the wind and waves (Mk. 4:41); it's the same word used to describe the disciples when they saw Jesus walk on water (Mt. 17:26). So, this highlights the type of obedience that should be present in the hearts of God's people. There should be a sense of reverence and respect within the heart of God's people toward their boss.

We live in a society where respect is a lost art. At times, we're willing to obey. But we're not always willing to obey respectfully. We may honor our boss with our actions, but not our heart. We may honor our boss to their face, but not behind their back. But God calls us to revere, respect, and fear our earthly masters. As followers of Jesus, we honor the Lord when we respect our bosses. So, are you setting a good example of how to respect your boss at your job?

But, not only should we obey respectfully, we should obey willingly— "obey your masters with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart."

The Greek word for sincere here is haplotēs, which highlights single-mindedness. It's an intentional commitment not to be self-seeking and free of hypocrisy. So, this means that we are to obey our masters with a heart free of hypocritical motives. Our motive should be simple. We should simply want to honor the Lord in how we view and act toward our masters.

Paul goes on to say, "doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man." One commentator adds, "No work is merely work. It is a way to serve Christ." So, a tangible way we can live out the gospel in the workplace is by working for the Lord, not man. How we treat our boss is an expression of worship and service to Jesus. He is our ultimate master. So, we should seek to obey our earthly masters in the same way we obey our heavenly master, which is with a sincere heart. Whether our boss is watching or not, our hearts are set on obedience because our hearts are set on the Lord. Our motive isn't personal gain; it's the glory of Jesus. So, we always work hard for the Lord (whether our master is watching or not) because we understand that we are ultimately servants of Christ. We want to honor Christ in how we honor our boss.

But here's one of the most beautiful realities of this passage: the slave can obey willingly and expectantly— "knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a Bondservant or free." We obey our bosses expectantly. We work hard, knowing that a reward is coming. No deed (good or bad) goes unnoticed by God. One day, we will stand before the judgment seat of Christ and will be rewarded based upon our present faithful (Matt 16:27; Rom 2:6-11; 2 Cor 5:10). So, we obey in hope, knowing that things will get better one day!

HOW TO GLORIFY GOD AS A MASTER?

Then, Paul shifts his attention to the master. In doing so, he is saying, "This is how you can glorify God in your daily life as a boss/master."

First, he highlights that we can glorify God as leaders by treating others how they want to be treated—"treat them the same way." Godly leaders treat their people the way they want to be treated. They treat their people with respect, worth, and dignity. The heart posture of the master should coincide with the heart posture of a slave. Whether you're the leader or the follower, the slave or the master, humble service is what you're called to. So treat your people the way you want to be treated. In the same way that Christ is a good master that we can trust, we are to be a good master that others can trust.

Next, he highlights that we can glorify God as leaders by avoiding hostility— "stop your threatening."

Every team or business has a goal: win, make money, or beat a deadline. Some leaders believe that the goal of an organization/team is more important than those in the organization/team. They think each person has a job, and the leader's job is to make everyone else do their job well, no matter the cost. This mentality typically leads to a type of heavy-handed leadership. It will lead one to say, "I'm not here to be your friend. I'm here to be your boss. I don't care what's going on in your life. Your job is to do _____. So, go do ______."

To this leader, concern for the goal always trumps concern for those carrying out the goal. Yet, the Bible says that good leaders care for the people they lead. Good leaders don't threaten their people; they gently lead their people.

No one demonstrates this better than Jesus does! No one cares for you as a person more than Jesus! Jesus is a good master who doesn't rule with a heavy hand. He is a master who serves, honors, and cares for his people! His steadfast love never ends! So, if you have experienced firsthand the personal care and comfort of God's steadfast love, why would you not be quick to extend that same love to those you lead?

Your organization's goal is never more important than those within your organization. Steadfast love and faithfulness, not heavy-handedness and oppression, are what upholds the throne of a king. Good leaders are loving, kind, and gentle leaders. Good leaders care for the people they are leading.

Then he says we can glorify God as leaders by living with Christ-centered accountability— "he is both their Master and yours in heaven." Brothers and sisters, your master is Christ. You can be the boss of all bosses. But, no position of leadership in this life will ever transfer you out of being a slave to Christ.

He then says we must remember that God is impartial— "there is no partiality with him." We can glorify God as leaders by treating all people fairly. We can glorify God as leaders by remembering God is impartial. God didn't extend salvation to us because of our dress. Our bank account doesn't lure God into granting us salvation. Our skin color doesn't entice God into giving us favor. Blessing isn't extended to us because of our age or heritage. Salvation is on the table for all people, no matter their skin color, no matter their age, no matter their net worth, no matter their past.

Romans 10 says, "Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame." For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Therefore, if God does not show partiality in his giving of salvation, then we must not show partiality, either. If we are recipients of God's grace, then we must extend grace. If favoritism is far from God, it must be far from us. Faith and favoritism are incompatible.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Many years ago, I remember meeting a Muslim friend downtown. Over time, we began to talk. And one night, over dinner, I asked him what led him to become Muslim. He proceeded to tell me that his dad was a Baptist preacher, so he grew up in a Christian home. But, over time, he began to view the Christian faith as empty, worthless, and powerless because he never saw his dad live out his faith at home. He said, "My dad was a completely different person at home than he was at church. So, I concluded it can't be real."

This conversation taught me that who we are at home is equally (if not more) important than who we are in public. Today, we will learn that God cares about what happens inside the home. God cares about how we interact with our parents, and he cares about how we interact with our kids.

Perhaps I could make the bold statement that we have failed as disciples of Jesus if we give our life to teaching the world about Jesus and neglect teaching our kids about Jesus. I will have failed as a pastor if I neglect my children in an attempt to lead the church.

Today, we will learn that the primary spiritual influence in a child's life should be the parent. Therefore, the child should listen to and obey the parent's teaching.

One of our four pillars as a church is family discipleship. We define family discipleship as "The family of God partnering with and equipping parents/guardians to help build in their children an authentic faith in Jesus." We want to equip and disciple families for family discipleship as the church. We want to be a [F]amily that helps our [f]amilies be a beacon of hope and life in their homes. Family discipleship is the family of God coming together to pray for, teach, train, and show our parents and kids what it means to love Jesus. 

So, discipleship is not merely something that takes place outside of our homes; it should be something that takes place inside our homes. God cares about who we are inside the walls of our home. God cares about your family.

Let's dive in.

"[1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), [3] "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." [4] Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

CHILDREN ARE IMPORTANT

The first thing I want us to notice is who Paul is addressing. He's speaking to the children of the church. This is a term that means offspring or descendants. But it's a term of position more than a term of age. In Matthew 2:18, we see this word used about the children under the age of two that Herod sought to kill. But elsewhere in Scripture, it's used in reference to children much older. So, I don't think Paul is speaking directly to two-year-olds, nor do I think he's speaking directly to thirteen-year-olds. He's talking to those who have been given the title of a child, someone who is dependent upon an adult, someone living under their parent's roof. 

So, take a moment to understand what's taking place here at the start of chapter 6. In a letter written to the saints in Ephesus, Paul specifically addresses the kids. God values children enough to speak directly to them when addressing the church. 

What does that tell us? It tells us that our children should not be viewed as an afterthought in the church; they should be seen and treated as an essential element of the church. Children should be treated as a crucial part of the church.

Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where children can be viewed as a distraction rather than a priority. Sometimes, we want kids out of the service rather than in the service so we can worship Jesus undistracted. And I think this desire has contributed to the church creating a separate ministry in a separate building for the kids in the church. 

I'm not here to condemn those things as wrong. Children's ministry is important. It's helpful to have the church help teach our little children essential stories in the Bible in a way they can understand it. It's helpful to have someone serve the young moms and dads by watching their babies during the service. It can be beneficial to give the youth of church opportunities to gather with young believers their age. But, in doing these things, we must be careful not to create a culture where our children are separate from the church. Paul doesn't write a separate letter to the children; he addresses them as a part of the church. Therefore, we should treat our kids as crucial to the church. Let them serve and grow with us.

This is why we bring our kids into the worship space at an early age. We want them to grow up as a part of the church. We want them to learn how to worship by worshipping with us. We want them to learn how to study the Bible by studying with us. We want them to learn to serve by serving with us. We want them to grow into the image of Christ with us, not away from us. 

CHILDREN, OBEY YOUR PARENTS

Paul then tells the children in the church to "obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." The word "obey" means to listen and submit to the commands of another. Strikingly, it's the same word used in Matthew 8:27 when "the winds and the sea obeyed" Jesus. As Jesus was in the boat with his disciples, he was sound asleep whenever a great storm hit the sea. He later wakes up and proceeds to rebuke the winds and the sea, and there is suddenly a great calm. The wind and the waves obeyed Jesus, doing as he said. 

I feel, at times, this is a far too relatable analogy to parents. Perhaps you're like my wife, and at night, you look around your house and wonder, "Did a tornado come through our home?" Maybe you're like me, and sometimes you wonder if "child" and "hurricane" are synonyms. Well, may this story comfort you. If Jesus can calm the wind, he can calm your children. If the waves can obey, your children can obey.

As the storm took heed to the command of Jesus, children are to take heed to the commands of their parents. God calls the children in the church to obey their parents. They are to do as their parents tell them to do. 

Kids, a tangible way you can honor the Lord as a child is by obeying your parents. A tangible way that you can worship God is by doing what your parents say. If you want to obey God, you should obey your parents. 

Now, what does it mean that we are to obey our parents "in the Lord?" Well, what I think Paul is alluding to here is our ultimate higher authority. As John Stott puts it, "The latter instruction surely modifies the former." In other words, we obey our parents always, without exception, as long as that obedience is compatible with our ultimate authority, Jesus. If, for some reason, our parents command us to do something that goes against what God, in his word, commands us to do, then we must humbly and respectfully disobey. If your mom tells you to lie, you say, "Mom, I can't lie. God tells me to speak the truth. So I have to be honest." If your dad tells you to steal, you say, "Dad, I can't steal because God tells me not to." Jesus is always our primary and ultimate authority. 

Paul then says, "For this is right." Paul's first justification for the obedience of a child isn't the law or Christian ethics; it's the natural law of life. We obey our parents because it's the right thing to do. It should be universally understood across all life barriers that it is suitable for a child to obey their parents. 

HONOR AND OBEY

But, the natural law of life is not the ultimate authority for us as believers. So, to support this command, Paul quotes the Ten Commandments— "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."

To support the command to "obey," Paul quotes the Old Testament command to "honor." To honor someone means to revere someone. It means respecting someone and holding them in high esteem. So, this tells us that we can honor our parents by obeying our parents. If you want to dishonor your mom and dad, disobey them. But, if you want to honor your mom and dad, obey them.  

THINGS WITH GO WELL FOR YOU

Now, there's some disagreement or confusion over Paul's words, "This is the first commandment with a promise," because it appears this isn't the first commandment with a promise. When you look at the Ten Commandments, you'll see that there are, in a sense, promises tied to other commandments that come before this one. For example, the command, "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain," has the promise that "he will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain." So, judgment is promised to the one who takes the LORD's name in vain. 

But, what I think Paul is saying is that this is the first commandment that promises blessing. Those who honor their father and mother will experience "well-being and a long life on earth." So, choosing to disobey your parents is a dangerous path in life. But, choosing to obey your parents is choosing a better way of life.

Let's spend a few minutes unpacking the nuts and bolts of this promise. 

The primary responsibility of a parent is to love, protect, and teach a child what obedience to and love for God looks like. In doing this, a parent will teach a child principles that will generally lead to life and prosperity. Obeying our parents should lead to a better and safer life.

For example, stealing and lying will lead to pain and misery. Choosing to embrace a life of theft and dishonesty will likely lead to some time in jail or prison. So, if a child takes heed to their parent's teaching/warning/discipline against these things, they will be able to avoid a ton of pain and misery in life that comes from these things.

Not only that but obeying your parents will teach you humility. It will teach you how to receive correction, which will help you be a better person in life. Think about work, for example. If you, as a child, can learn to take heed to your parent's corrections, you will one day be able to take heed to your bosses' corrections, which will lead to you being a good employee, which should, in return, lead to things going well for you in the workplace. In other words, you show me a child who honors, respects, and obeys their parents, and I will show you someone who will one day honor, respect, and obey their boss. And if you honor, respect, and obey your boss, you'll probably be a good worker, and good employers want to keep good workers.

Now, let me insert a little side note along those lines and briefly speak to the young ladies. As you get into the dating age one day, let me counsel you. You show me a young man who honors and respects his mom, and I will show you a young man who will one day honor and respect you. Show me a young man who doesn't respect his mother, and I'll show you a young man who one day won't honor and respect you. 

DISCIPLE YOUR KIDS

Paul then shifts his focus from the child to the parent, primarily the father. As we saw in chapter 5, the husband is considered the head of the household. Therefore, he is the leader of the home. 

This is important to note because we have grown up in a society that has diminished the importance of a father's presence in a child's life. We've grown up in a society where men have been primarily dis-involved in a child's life, whether that be because of work, divorce, or a myriad of reasons. But, in addressing the parent's role in disciplining a child, Paul primarily addresses the father. 

Men, God has called you to be actively involved in your children's lives. God has called the father to be actively involved in your children's lives.

In addressing the father, we can also safely conclude that he's also addressing the mother. After all, he just got done saying, "obey your parent[s]" and "honor your father and mother." So, this reinforces the truth that the primary spiritual influence of a child is the parent. Mom and Dad, you shouldn't just be present in your child's life; you should be actively involved in the discipleship of your child. The primary responsibility of teaching, training, and disciplining a child doesn't fall on the shoulders of a daycare, school, nanny, or grandparent; it falls on the shoulders of the parent.

CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS

As the primary spiritual influence, Paul calls us to do two things: "not provoke our children to anger" and "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." 

So, what does it mean to not "provoke our children to anger?" 

Well, multiple commentators pointed out how, contextually, during this time, fathers in Roman society had total control over their children and were often harsh to them. Some historical reports show that some fathers were guilty of selling or abandoning their children. Other reports show that a father could even kill a child without being charged with a crime. So, this command not to provoke a child to anger would have been very countercultural during this time because it placed value on the child. It spoke light into how a father led his family. A loving and Godly father should lead his children gently yet sternly, boldly yet kindly. The father (and mother) should carefully consider how they parent their children. They should be fair, loving, and consistent toward their children. 

Tony Merida gives a list of things a parent could do to provoke a child to anger: 

  •  Failing to take into account the fact that they are kids

  • Comparing them to others

  • Disciplining them inconsistently

  • Failing to express approval, even at small accomplishments

  • Failing to express our love to them

  • Disciplining them for reasons other than willful disobedience and defiance

  • Pressuring them to pursue our goals, not their own

  • Withdrawing love from them or overprotecting them

TEACH AND SHOW THEM JESUS

Following this, Paul says fathers should bring their children up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." 

The Greek word for discipline means training, correcting, or punishing. It's "do this" and "don't do that." It's "if you choose to disobey, punishment will come." Godly parents embrace the responsibility of correcting and disciplining their children. 

The Greek word for instruction means to teach or warn. It's a term that primarily falls on the shoulders of verbal education. It's, "Hey, this is who God is. This is what he's done. This is what he calls us to." So, Godly parents embrace the responsibility of teaching their children about Jesus. The ultimate job of a parent is to teach their children about Jesus. We are to bring up our children in the discipline and instruction "of the Lord." So, the content of our teaching ought to center around Jesus. 

Jesus says, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations." So, our job as disciples of Jesus is to make disciples of Jesus. But, whenever we hear discipleship, we often think outward, not inward. We often think discipleship is something we do outside the walls of our home, not inside our home. But, we must understand that it would be foolish to invest all of our time, effort, and resources to reach the lost outside our homes while neglecting the lost within our homes. As parents, we must understand that one of our most excellent calls in life is to teach our children about Jesus. 

FILL YOUR CUP SO YOU CAN FILL OTHERS

As we close today, I want to direct our attention to Deuteronomy 6:6-7, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children…" So, before we see a call to teach, we see a call to study. We are to teach our kids that which is on our hearts. We are to teach our kids the very thing that we rejoice in, delight in, meditate on, and cling to personally. To make disciples, we must first be a disciple. To be a teacher, you must first be a student. We can't teach our kids something we are foreign to ourselves. 

The Psalmist describes God's Word as something sweeter than honey and more precious than gold. The Bible ought to be something we feast on daily. So, in teaching our kids about God's Word, we're not inviting them to join a meal that we despise ourselves. We're welcoming them into a delicious feast at the master's table. We are to teach our children diligently the same commands written on our hearts.

Ephesians 5:31-33

What you find, as you read the Bible, is the truth that nothing catches God by surprise. He is always on the throne. He is carrying out his good plan of redemption.

We saw this in Ephesians 1, where we learned that God chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be hold and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ. These verses teach us that God had a chosen plan of redemption before the earth was formed. Before the earth was made, God knew sin would enter the world, and he had a plan of adoption.

The Bible is emphatically clear that the cross was not God's plan B; it was always his plan A. So, throughout the Old Testament, we see prophesies and foreshadows pointing ahead to the coming of a Savior who would save the world through his death on the cross. Throughout the Old Testament, we find promises and foreshadows about God creating a united, diverse, and redeemed people through the death and resurrection of Jesus. And we're going to learn today that even the formation of marriage was intended to portray Christ's relationship with the church. Marriage was created to be a parable of Christ's relationship with the church long before the church was born. Before a husband and wife existed, God had created marriage to mirror the gospel. So, the closer we gaze into the mirror of marriage, the more we see the beautiful splendor of Christ and the church.

Let's dive in.

"[28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31] 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

In verses 28-29, we find Paul calling the men in the church to love their wives as they do their own bodies. Notice here that there's no command to love oneself, though. There's only an assumption that one will love themselves.

Some of us might claim to hate ourselves, while some of us probably love ourselves a little more than we should. But, it's "a natural aspect of the human condition to love, nurture, and protect oneself." If you, for example, were to touch a hot stove, your natural response is to pull back your hand to protect your hand. A fundamental aspect of the human life is to protect your life. Paul here is saying that an essential element of the call on the husband's life is to learn how to cherish, nurture, and care for his bride in the same way he cherishes, nurtures, and cares for himself. The husband should "love his wife as he loves his own body."

So often, you hear about the husband's career or hobbies trampling over his wife. But gone are the days when a wife is forced to live in the shadows of the husband's wants and desires. Gone are the days when a man only looks out for himself. No, a godly husband gives himself to the humble service of caring for his bride. He loves his wife as his own body because he is now one flesh with her.

Now, it's important to note that our flesh isn't perfect. If we look in the mirror, we will find all sorts of blemishes. No one knows the flaws of our bodies more than ourselves. Yet, despite these flaws, we still nurture and care for our bodies. The same should be true of our marriage. There's no such thing as a perfect husband, and there's no such thing as a perfect wife. Yet, even with all her flaws and imperfections, the husband is still to nurture and care for her as her own flesh. A husband's care doesn't rest upon the shoulders of the wife's worthiness but upon the shoulders of grace. The husband is to cherish and nourish his wife (as his own body), just as Christ nourishes and cherishes the church (as his own body).

Together, the church makes up the bride of Christ, the one whom he loves dearly. And he has entered into a marital covenant with his bride, making us one with him, a member of his body. Therefore, a husband must love his bride like Jesus loves his bride, the church.

This reminds us of essential truths surrounding marriage and the hope of the gospel. If we (the church) are members of Christ's body, he will not forsake us. In the same way that a head will never abandon its body, Christ will never abandon the church. In the same way that a man will never stop caring for his body, Christ will never stop caring for the church. Christ will always remain lovingly, graciously, and fully invested in his bride, the church. And a husband ought to do the same.

To support this, Paul directs our attention back to the garden in Genesis 2. Look at verse 31.

"Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

Notice there are quotation marks surrounding this verse here. Quotation marks tell us he's quoting something said previously.

In Genesis 2, God creates man and commissions him to work and tend to the garden. Not long after, the LORD said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." So, the LORD caused a deep sleep to fall on the man, and while he slept, he took one of Adam's ribs and made a woman from it. Once he woke up, he said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'" Following this declaration, we read, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."

So, at the beginning of creation, we find the marriage union introduced. These words will be the foundation on which the rest of the Bible interprets marriage. This teaches us a fundamental element regarding marriage: the creator of marriage is God. God established marriage in the garden.

So, you might hear someone say that marriage is old school. They would be right. Marriage is about as old school as you can get. But we see here that marriage wasn't a man-made establishment; it was a God-ordained union formed for his people's good and His own glory (as we will see soon).

Now, if God is the creator of marriage, then he gets to set the parameters of marriage. A jar doesn't get to say to the potter, "I don't like the handle you've given me, so I'm going to change it a bit." No, the creator is also the orchestrator. The one who sets something in motion also gets to guide the direction.

We see this being the case in Genesis 2. What's profound here is that Adam and Eve didn't have a father and mother to leave because they were the first and only people on the earth at this time. Yet, God says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." So, at the very beginning of time, God is setting into place what marriage was intended to be. He's establishing a practice to be observed from this point forward. What occurred in Genesis 2 was intended to be the defining moment of marriage. Here in Genesis 2, we learn that God has designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, a leaving of your father and mother, and a holding fast to one another. "A man shall leave his father and mother and become one flesh with his woman, his wife."

There are two things worth unpacking here: the leaving and clinging portion of this verse. When we unpack these two things, we will better understand what marriage was intended to be.

The verb used here for "leave" means to leave behind, forsake, abandon, or desert. It's the grandmother leaving the fox in the woods in the movie The Fox and the Hound. It's you dropping off clothes at Goodwill. It can be a sad word, a word of separation. The relationship between the parent and the child will never be the same whenever the child says, "I do." That child's primary allegiance and dependence no longer belongs to the mom and dad; it belongs to the spouse. A new union, family, and body have been birthed on the marriage altar. When two people get married, they're choosing to start a new family together.

This is why, at the start of most wedding ceremonies, the father walks down the aisle with the bride, and the minister asks, "Who gives this woman in marriage?" To which the father will respond, "Her mother and I."

A fundamental element of marriage is the reality that your relationship with your parents will never be the same again. You have left behind your father and mother to hold fast to your wife.

Many marriages struggle in ways they shouldn't because of a lack of understanding of this reality. Many parents aren't willing to be left. They've lived vicariously through their child and don't want to be let go. But, parents, when you give your son or daughter away, you must understand that things won't be the same as they were before. Your child is starting a family of their own, which is a good thing. It's how God has designed it. Holidays may be different. That's ok. Traditions may die. That's ok. God has created marriage to be this way.

In the same way that you were able to create memories with your spouse and your children, your child can now begin to start their own memories with their spouse and children. Don't fight this; encourage it. Learn how to navigate life well in this new role of a parent.

With that being said, leaving your father and mother doesn't mean you completely cut ties with your father and mother. You still walk through life with your parents, just in a different way. Your priorities have just changed. Your allegiance has shifted. Understand that this is a difficult transition for your parents. It's likely much more difficult for them than it is for you. So, strive to honor them as you cling to another. Learn how to navigate life well in this new role as a spouse.

Now, not only do you leave your father and mother, but you are to hold fast to your spouse. "Hold fast" means to adhere to, stick to, or join with your wife. It means to glue or weld yourself to another. This is a language of permanence, strength, and unity. As a hand doesn't have the freedom to leave the body, a husband doesn't have the freedom to leave his wife (and vice-versa).

I've officiated quite a few weddings over the years, and I've come in contact with several symbolisms used to convey what is taking place on a wedding day. I've seen people tie knots to symbolize the strength of a marriage. I've seen people mix sand or light candles to represent the blending together of families. Well, I look forward to the day when a couple brings welding helmets and a blow torch and welds together two metals. God has designed marriage to be a welding together of two people who will be one until death do them part.

To signify its permanence, a marriage in the Bible is seen as a covenant, not a contract. In addressing the Israelites' spiritual insensitivity, Malachi 2:14 states, "But you say, 'Why does he not (accept our offerings)?' Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant." So, here, Malachi draws attention to the fact that God has not responded to their offerings because the Israelites have not been faithful to the wife they covenanted with in their youth. This tells us that marriage was created as a covenant that should be carried out faithfully. Marriage is a lifelong covenant, not a short-term contract. A contract is designed to protect oneself if the other party fails to fulfill their obligations. However, a covenant is a permanent promise. It is the giving of oneself for the benefit of another. A covenant is a profound and binding promise of the heart. You can enter a contract and still be looking out for their self-interest. However, that's not the way of a covenant. God created a marriage covenant to be a selfless commitment, the forging together of two separate lives.

If marriage is a permanent promise, we must conclude that marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment. When questioned about divorce in Matthew 19, Jesus referenced the same verse Paul quoted in Genesis 2. He was asked, "Is it lawful (is it ok) to divorce your wife for any cause?" And at this moment, Jesus knew they were asking this question because of Deuteronomy 24. In Deuteronomy, we find specific laws given regarding divorce. And instead of unpacking Deuteronomy 24, he first draws the attention of his audience past Deuteronomy 24 to Genesis 2. In doing so, he's reminding his audience that God's original intention for marriage was to be lasting, not temporary. The husband and wife have uniquely become one entity. So, a husband is not free to leave his wife because of a change of appearance. A wife doesn't get to leave her husband because she lacks feelings toward him. Marriage was intended to be a lifelong covenant. Therefore, we must be willing to work through the tough times together with our spouses.

Like Jesus, Paul in Ephesians 5 draws the church's attention back to this creation narrative. In doing so, he's saying that a husband should love his wife as his own body, cherishing and nourishing her, because God created marriage to be the joining together of two people for an entire life together.

Paul goes on to say that forming one flesh in marriage was a profound mystery related to Christ and the church. When we say mystery, we mean something hidden and not fully known. Think of it like something that was always there but hidden in the shadows, something that was once dimly lit but now fully visible, something that was once foggy but is now clear. Paul is saying that the creation of marriage on the sixth day was patterned after Christ's future loving relationship with the church. Marriage was created to be a parable of Jesus' relationship with the church long before the church was born.

Think about that for a moment.

Marriage is a good gift from the Lord. It should lead to joy, happiness, and pleasure. It should lead to our holiness and sanctification. But, more than all of this, marriage was created to be a portrait of the gospel. God designed marriage to reflect his loving relationship with his people.

Married folks, do you understand that you are a part of a tiny portrait of Christ's relationship with his bride, the church?

We live in a day and age where many have no desire to open their Bibles. However, how you interact with your spouse can teach the world how God interacts with his spouse. So, be careful how you treat your spouse. Be careful how you speak about your spouse. Husbands, let each of you love his wife as himself. And wives, let each of you see that you respect your husband.

Ephesians 5:25-30

Last week, we spoke to the women. Today, we speak to the men. Last week, we talked to the wives. Today, we talk to the husbands. 

Last week, we learned that the wife is called to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ. Submission assumes leadership, which leads to the assumption that a husband is responsible for leading his wife. Well, today, we will learn that Godly leaders are loving leaders. Godly husbands are loving husbands. Today, we will discover that one of the greatest signs of a Godly man is not his ability to benchpress 300lbs; it's his willingness and ability to love as Christ has loved. 

1 Corinthians 16:13 says, "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." The command here by Paul assumes that Godly men will be strong men. This is warlike language. Like a sergeant calling his troops to war, Paul is calling the men of the church to be ready, to be watchful, and to stand firm. So, biblical manhood is directly tied to strength. Men should be strong. But the strength alluded to here is not merely physical; it's primarily spiritual. Some of the physically strongest men in this world are the spiritually weakest. Paul calls the men in the church to be courageous, strong, and willing to stand firm and fight the spiritual battle that is present in this life. And then he calls them to love— "Let all that you do be done in love." 

The strongest and godliest men will be the most loving men. Godly strength is displayed through a man's willingness to walk in love. The weakest men will shout the loudest. A weak man will beat his chest and repay evil for evil. A weak man will punch when he's been punched. A weak man will trample over those around him. But, a strong man will let all he does be done in love. The strongest men will be humble, patient, selfless, kind, and gentle. 

Today, we will find God calling the men in the church who are husbands to lead their wives with loving gentleness. God calls a husband to love his wife like Jesus loves the church.

My hope and prayer for today has been that the husbands in the room will experience a deep, lasting desire to go home and lead their wives with fervent love. My hope and prayer today has been that the wives in the room will experience a deep, lasting desire to go home and respectfully submit to their husbands' loving leadership. My hope and prayer today has been that the single women in the room will experience a deep, lasting desire to wait for a Godly man who will lovingly lead them to Jesus. My hope and prayer for today has been that the single men in the room will experience a deep, lasting desire to wait for a gentle and godly woman that he can lovingly lead toward Jesus.

Let's dive in.  

"[25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body."

In response to the verses we looked at last week, we can safely conclude that submission assumes leadership. If the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, then that means the husband is responsible for leading his wife as Christ leads the church. 

But what type of leader should a husband be? Well, the answer is emphatically "a loving one!" The husband isn't leading an inferior subordinate; he's leading his own body, the precious woman he loves, bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. Therefore, his leadership should be gentle, kind, patient, caring, and loving. Godly leaders are loving leaders, and Godly husbands are loving husbands. The leadership of a husband should be selfless and sacrificial. A husband is never free to force a wife to submit to his own will, wants, and desires. Instead, he should lovingly and sacrificially lay down his wants and desires in order to lead his wife and family toward life and godliness. 

In the same way Christ took the lead in saving his bride, a husband should take the lead in suffering and dying for his bride. He sacrificially leads in providing for his bride. He sacrificially leads in protecting his bride. He sacrificially leads in discipling his bride. He sacrificially leads in reconciling with his bride. 

The husband should strive to be a thermostat for the home, not a thermometer. What do thermometers do? They reveal to you the temperature of something. What do thermostats do? They establish and set the temperature of something. Thermometers are incapable of impacting the temperature of a room. Thermostats, however, set the pace for the temperature of a room. In the same way, husbands have the responsibility of leading the home toward the cool temperature of Christlikeness. Godly leaders are loving leaders; Godly husbands are loving husbands.

But what is love?

We live in a world that closely ties love to romance. We live in a world that elevates our feelings above all things. If I feel something good, it must be good. If I don't feel something good, it must be bad. So, we often identify love as the racing of our hearts when we lock eyes with someone. We equate love with a thrilling kiss under the moonlight. So, what happens in many marriages is that after years of marriage, we lose that romantic thrill that was once present, which leads us to strongly consider divorce. We no longer feel love toward our spouse; therefore, we believe we've fallen out of love.

But, I want us to notice here that love isn't described as a feeling; it's an action, something the husband does. Christ-like love is a willful action more than it is a mystical feeling. Attraction can be an element of love, but it's not the motivating factor of love. More than a husband is to feel a particular way toward his wife, he is to act a particular way toward his wife. When romantic attraction is a distant memory, the call to love will remain the same. No matter what a husband's heart tells him, he is called by God to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 

Notice here the standard of a husband's love is God's love. We've said this a lot, but all living is shaped by doctrine. What we believe (particularly about God) impacts how we live. And, here in Ephesians, we've been reminded time after time that gospel doctrine should begin to shape gospel living. When we understand the magnitude of God's love for us that has been demonstrated through the work of the cross, we should begin to strive to love as God has loved us. So, Paul, once again, is pointing to the cross and saying, "This is the standard of the love you're called to. Men, love your wife as Jesus loves you!"

How does Jesus love you? He loves you fully, graciously, and selflessly. So, how do you love your spouse? Fully, graciously, and selflessly. As one commentator puts it, "Christ loved the church not because it was perfectly lovable, but in order to make it such (Westcott)." 

So, love isn't a feeling; it is an action. And it's not a transactional action— something a husband does whenever his wife deserves it. It is an action of selfless grace. 

Men, nothing pushes a husband away from selfless love like keeping score does. When we think, "Well, I've done {this} for her this week, why doesn't she do {that} for me?" our hearts will become hard as clay. Don't look at the scoreboard; look at the cross.

We said this a few weeks ago, but we cannot fully understand the depth of God's love until we first understand the cost of the cross. Our sin has brought death, judgment, and separation. Judgment is coming. But the beauty of the gospel is that Jesus willingly marched to the cross to take upon himself the punishment we deserve. Jesus' work on the cross is the ultimate display of sacrificial love. He died so we wouldn't have to. So, God is calling us to love one another with this same radical and sacrificial love. God is calling all husbands to fix their hearts and eyes upon the cross so that they can begin to truly love like Jesus.

So, what's the limit to which we should love? There is no limit! When should we withhold our love from one another? Never! Christ-like love is humble, sacrificial, uncomfortable, costly, selfless, and eternally minded. A husband loves his wife not because she deserves it but because Christ is worthy. So, look at the cross, not the scoreboard.

Now, let's try to unpack some layers here. What does sacrificial, Christ-like love look like for a husband? Paul tells us that we are to love our wives as Christ gave himself up for the church "that he might sanctify her by the washing of water with the world, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish…" 

We're going to spend some time unpacking this, but if I could summarize these verses down to a central point, it would be this: a loving husband cares about the spiritual health of his bride. And if you care about something, you take care of it. So, if you care about the spiritual health of your bride, you will prioritize the spiritual health of your bride. A loving husband should seek to disciple his wife to become more like Jesus. A husband's primary focus should be his bride's spiritual well-being. A husband longs for his girl to walk with Jesus in joyful communion; therefore, he seeks to lead her to Jesus. Tony Merida summarizes this thought by exhorting the husband to "be concerned for her spiritual well-being. Be in the Word personally. Talk about the Word with her. Know how your wife is doing in theological knowledge, in the practice of spiritual disciplines, in her service in the local church, and in her relationships. Care for her soul. Do you know her fears, hopes, dreams, temptations, and disappointments? Shepherd her faithfully." 

Let's briefly pull back a few layers here and examine how Paul explains this. Paul teaches and reminds the church of central Christian doctrines regarding atonement. Because of the work of the cross, our sins have been washed away. Because of the work of the cross, we who were once stained with sin will one day stand before the Father without spots or blemishes. Because of the work of the cross, we who were stained with guilt and shame will be presented before God as a beautiful bride. Through the cross, the LORD takes away our iniquities and clothes us with pure garments. 

The imagery here of "washing of water with the word" is an interesting one. Some commentators even describe it as controversial. Some believe it's a reference to baptism. Others think it's a reference to a cleansing bath that a bride would receive before being presented before the groom (we see this referenced in Ezekiel 16). Some say it's both. I don't think we need to get caught too deep in the weeds here to understand what Paul is saying. Water has always been the most common element used for washing. So, Christ sacrificially died to wash away the sins of his bride. We were once deceitfully wicked, but we have been washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 

Paul is drawing attention to the strategic nature of Jesus' march to the cross. It was his love for his bride that led him to the cross. Jesus willingly and sacrificially gave himself up for the church so that she might become holy and without blemish. So, men, we, too, should willingly give ourselves up for our wives, selflessly laying down our wants and desires for the spiritual good of our bride. 

Men, you are not the only instrument God uses to sanctify your wife, but you are an instrument he chooses to use to sanctify your bride. So, in the words of the pastor and theologian Kent Hughes, "Is our wife more like Christ because she's married to us? Or, is she like Christ in spite of us?" 

Now, with that being said, a husband isn't merely called to care about the spiritual health of his bride; he should also care about the physical health of his bride. "In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body." 

This is the balance of the Christian faith, isn't it? We never want to neglect the spiritual as we tend to the physical. But we also don't want to ignore the physical as we seek to care for the spiritual. A loving husband tends to both. A loving husband prioritizes every facet of his bride. A husband should protect his wife physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

As you seek to lead your wife, you do so with the sole intention of taking precious care of her. A loving husband says to his bride, "Because I care about you, I want you to be able to sleep in this Saturday. So let me get up with the kids." A loving husband says to his bride, "Because I care about you, I want you to be able to have the freedom to not work if you want to stay home with the kids." When it comes to work or serving your spouse, you choose your spouse every time. When it comes to fishing or spending time with your bride, you choose your bride every time. When it comes to golf or your girl, you choose your girl every time. The call of the husband is to selflessly love, serve, and lead his wife so that she can become more like Jesus. 

Ephesians 5:22-24

The Bible says, "A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD." So, I'm convinced that God has designed marriage for our good, for our joy, for our pleasure, for our happiness, and for our holiness. But I'm also convinced that if we want to enjoy marriage the way God has intended it to be enjoyed, we need to understand how God has designed marriage to be enjoyed. And what I think we will discover today is the truth that, more than anything else, marriage was created for God's glory.

In Ephesians, we've learned that the ultimate call upon a believer's life is to glorify God (1:3-14, 5:17). God's will for our life is to make us more like Jesus so that we can make much of Jesus. God's glory should rule our every decision as followers of Jesus. And, in our passage today, we will discover that God has designed marriage to be a beautiful portrait of Christ's relationship with his bride, the church. Yes, marriage is a joy. But, more than marriage is for your happiness, it's for God's glory. Yes, marriage is sanctifying. But, more than marriage is for your holiness, it is for God's glory. God created and designed marriage for our good and his glory. 

Marriage was created in God's infinite goodness to be a portrait of the gospel to a lost and dying world. This truth should shape how we view and treat marriage. If marriage was created for God's glory, we should seek to steward the gift of marriage in a way that brings him glory. So, on the days that the butterflies fly away, our call to faithfully love our spouse will remain anchored because God is glorified through selfless love. On the days we're unhappy with the state of our marriage, we should find joy in remaining faithful because God is glorified through our covenantal commitment to the spouse of our youth. 

Today, we will learn that God is most glorified in marriage when a husband and wife interact with one another in a way that reflects the gospel. When we allow God's glory to shape what and why we do what we do, submission and headship no longer seem cruel. They become truly beautiful and necessary when we understand what they portray.

As we unpack the topic of submission today, there are six questions I want us to ask,

  • What is submission?

  • Is submission offensive?

  • Who is a wife called to submit to?

  • Why does a wife submit to her husband?

  • What does submission mean for a husband? 

  • What does this mean for us if we're single?

Let's dive in. 

"[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

WHAT IS SUBMISSION?

The first necessary question we must ask here is, "What is submission?"

After our passage last week, Paul called the church to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This verse exposes the humility that ought to exist within the family of God. There is no position of prominence within the church. We are all members of Christ's body, of which He is the head. So, out of reverence for our king, Jesus, we are to submit to one another, meaning we are to yield ourselves to the good of one another. 

Superiority and pride are the heart postures of the wicked. No one who has the love of Christ written on their heart is too good to submit. It doesn't matter if you are a 75-year-old pastor who has been walking with the Lord for 65 years or if you're a one-day-old convert; the life of a believer is one of humble service, not prideful dominance.

But, here, we find Paul turning to the context of marriage and directing his attention to the wife, saying that she is to "submit herself to her husband, as she does to the Lord." The word for submission is hypotassō. It means to put oneself under the authority and leadership of another willingly. This is a word used often throughout the New Testament. It's the same word used by Luke to describe Jesus as a child when he submitted to his parents (Lk. 2:51). It's the same word used in Ephesians 1 to explain how all things were put under the feet of Jesus (Eph. 1:22-23). It's the same word used in 1 Peter, where believers are called to be subject to every human institution (our governing authorities) for the Lord's sake (1 Pt. 2:13-14). So, as John Piper, in his book This Momentary Marriage, defines submission, "[It is] the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts."

IS SUBMISSION OFFENSIVE?

Before we further unpack this, I want to answer the anticipated question, "Should submission be offensive?"

What makes the call to submit so challenging to hear today is that submission appears to threaten one's identity and worth. The statement "submit to your husband" is often interpreted as "you are less than your husband." So, before we go any further, I want to clarify that submission doesn't equate to a lack of dignity and worth. Submission shouldn't be offensive; it should be an honor.

In Genesis 1-2, we see that both men and women share the same human nature. They were both made in God's image and commissioned equally to rule the earth. Therefore, they are both equal in essence, deserving to be recognized, honored, valued, and dignified as human beings made in God's image. One is not "more human" or "more valuable" than the other. However, we also see in Genesis 2 that men and women received unique roles that should be expressed differently. Since Adam was created first and Eve was created to be Adam's helper (Gen. 2:18), God gave Adam specific instructions for him and Eve to abide by together (Gen. 2:16-17). Adam was responsible for leading, nourishing, and lovingly cherishing his wife. Eve was to complement and help Adam rule over creation. This indicates that, although a husband and a wife are equal, they've been given unique roles. 

Equality is not the same thing as exactness. One of the many beauties of the Christian faith resides in our oneness and uniqueness. We are united yet different; we are one body but different members. In the same way, one of the beauties of marriage resides in the various roles God has called a husband and wife to. Although we are one, we've been given different roles.

We see this demonstrated for us in the Trinity. There is one God who eternally exists in three persons. In the Trinity, we see the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as equal in worth, value, and honor; they are one. But, despite this oneness, each person has a different role. In John 5, for example, we see Jesus tell the religious leaders that he was sent by the Father to do the work of the Father, walking in complete submission to the Father's will. So, although Jesus was one with the Father, he willingly submitted to the will of the Father. But, because the Son submitted to the Father, that doesn't mean he was any less than the Father. He was the Word made flesh, fully divine. Yet, he willfully, intentionally, and joyfully submitted himself to the Father's will. 

So, if submission was offensive, Christ should be offended. But, if Christ willingly submits, we should willingly submit. Submission shouldn't be offensive; it should be an honor. Submission is an opportunity to display the life and character of our Savior and Lord, Jesus. 

WHO IS A WIFE CALLED TO SUBMIT TO?

Next, I want us to quickly note who a wife is called to submit to. Notice here that God calls a wife to submit to her "own husband." On the one hand, we are all called to submit ourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ. But, in a deeper sense, a wife is not called to submit to all men as she does with her own husband. A unique and beautiful relationship of submission and headship should be present between a husband and a wife.

Be careful how you talk about your spouse to others. Be sure you respect and honor your spouse in how you talk about your spouse in public. And be careful how you speak to other people's spouses. Ensure you always respect the marital union between a husband and a wife. We want to push a husband and wife toward one another, not away from one another. 

WHY SUBMIT?

But why does a wife submit to her husband? Well, the answer Paul gives here is deeply theological. We live in a day and age where many want to be able to separate doctrine from living. Sometimes, we want to take a break from theology and live. But that's an impossible task. What we believe shapes how we live. Sometimes this is a good thing; sometimes it's a bad thing. Good doctrine leads to good living; bad doctrine leads to bad living.

In Ephesians, we find yet another example of how gospel doctrine should shape gospel living. How a husband and wife interact with one another is shaped by how we relate to God. So, a wife submits and respects her husband because it's a portrait of the gospel, and a husband leads and loves his wife because it's a portrait of the gospel. "The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." So, "as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." So, a wife submits to her husband, not because he is deserving, but because Christ is worthy of being glorified. God is glorified through a wife's willing submission to her husband in all things. When a wife willingly and joyfully submits to her husband, she is preaching the glory of the gospel to her husband. One of the best ways for a wife to win her lost husband to Christ is to practice what she preaches in the home. God created submission and headship within marriage to portray the gospel.

WHAT DOES SUBMISSION MEAN FOR THE HUSBAND?

But what does submission mean for a husband? Submission implies leadership— "The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church." The term "head" is used within the context of leaders in the Bible (Judges 11:11). John Piper defines headship as "the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home." 

We will expound on the husband's role more next week. But Paul says, "The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." So, the husband isn't leading an inferior subordinate; he's leading his own body, the precious woman he loves, bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. Therefore, his leadership should be gentle, kind, patient, and caring. In addition, Paul describes Christ as his bride's Savior. This tells us that the husband's leadership should be selfless and sacrificial. A husband is never free to force a wife to submit to his own will, wants, and desires. Instead, he should lovingly and sacrificially lay down his wants and desires to lead his wife and family toward life and godliness.

In the same way Christ took the lead in saving his bride, a husband should take the lead in suffering and dying for his bride. He leads in providing for his bride. He leads in protecting his bride. He leads in discipling his bride. He leads in reconciliation with his bride. So, circling back to Piper's initial definition of biblical submission, "Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts." 

But, here's the beauty of a wife's relationship with her husband. To submit to your husband doesn't mean you'll always agree with your husband. 1 Peter 3:1 says, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." So Peter is saying that a wife should submit to her husband, even if he's not a believer, because in doing so, he may see the beauty of Christ and be won to Christ. 

There will undoubtedly be moments when you disagree with your husband. But, with that, submission shouldn't equal silence. Godly husbands are not dictators. No, Godly leaders value counsel (Prov. 11:13, 15:22; 20:18; 24:6; 27:9). In the same way, the most Godly husbands should value the voice and counsel of their brides. A wise and loving husband should seek to cherish and value the opinions and thoughts of his bride. So, as we submit, we may not always agree with our spouse. But, a healthy marriage should have a healthy amount of communication. Submission also doesn't equal laziness. Marriage is created to be a relationship where the husband and wife work toward the common goal of glorifying Christ together. Think about it like a dance. One person leads, while the other follows. Yet, both are necessary for the dance to happen. 

Now, with that being said, a wife should never submit to her husband's will if it goes against God's will. Think about Shadrach, Meeshack, and Abendego, for example. God's people are clearly commanded to submit to and obey their governing authorities (1 Pt. 2:13). Yet when their governing authorities commanded them to bow down and worship someone other than their God, they had to respectfully disobey. The same is true regarding a wife's relationship with her husband. A wife should submit to her husband in all things until that thing clearly goes against God's will. Then, she has to respectfully disagree.

Now, it's here that I want to say that the church should always be a safe place for the hurt and broken. Wives, if you have an abusive husband who is demanding you to do things that are not of the Lord, please come to us and ask for help, and we will walk through this with you. Asking for help doesn't mean you're weak. In fact, I would argue that asking for help is a sign of strength. Asking for help isn't selfish, nor is it unloving. In fact, I would argue that asking for help is one of the greatest declarations of love. Asking for help doesn't mean you're walking out on your marriage, nor does it mean your marriage is over. It just means you're seeking help to restore your marriage.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR US IF WE’RE SINGLE?

As we close today, I want to speak to my single brothers and sisters for a brief moment. Your spouse is the only family member you get to choose, so choose wisely.

The older you get, the more you will likely long for a companion. You long to find a spouse, someone to come home to and walk through life with you. And because of this desire, there's a growing temptation to settle. Your standards of a Godly spouse begin to crumble a bit. So, instead of a godly, Christlike man, you just want a good man. Instead of a follower of Jesus, you just want someone who will bring you flowers and make you laugh. But, may this passage remind you of what you're committing to in marriage. Ladies, you're not just looking for someone to come home to; you're looking for someone to submit to. You're not just looking for someone charming but someone who will lead you closer to Jesus. So, please, I encourage you to choose wisely who you will submit to.

Men, the Bible says that "it is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife (Prov. 21:9)." "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Prov. 31:10)." So, you are not just looking for someone pretty; you're looking for a woman who adorns herself with the humble and gentle spirit of Christ. So, please, I encourage you to choose wisely who you will lead.

Ephesians 5:15-17

One thing that is widely recognized worldwide is how fleeting time is. This reality pushes us all to do something with our limited time here on earth. But, what it pushes each of us to is different. For some of us, it pushes us to luxurious vacations. We know we have one life, so we want to go and see as many places as possible. For some of us, it pushes us to parties. We know we have one life, so we want to party and have as many memories as possible. For some of us, it pushes us to work. We know we have one life, so we want to make as much money as possible so our family will be well cared for when we're gone. For some of us, it pushes us to stay home with our families. We know we have one life, so we want to make as many memories as possible with the ones we love the most.

We all know life is short, so we strive to steward the fleeting gift of time the best way we know how. But, one of the beauties of the gospel is that God transforms how we steward the fleeting gift of time. In our short life, we should strive to glorify God by walking in obedience to God's will. A central element of the Christian life is seeking to walk according to God's will every second of every day. As followers of Jesus, we lay down our wants, desires, and plans at the altar of God and say, "Let your will be done in my life."

In our passage today, it's as if Paul is saying, "Remember, before you came to know Christ, you wasted your time on pointless things. But, now that you've come to know Jesus, you can make your time count and spend your days on things that matter most." Put simpler, "You were dead, but Jesus made you alive. So go live like it!"

Let's dive in.

"[15] Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, [16] making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. [17] Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

Growing up, when I was looking for a lost item, my mother would say, "Don't man look." Man-looking would be when I walked into a room and casually looked around for a lost item. No effort would be put into my quest to identify the object I sought. I wouldn't pick anything up; the only thing I would move was my eyes as I searched my room.

Well, the first thing we find Paul saying in verse 15 is, "Look carefully then how you walk." The Greek word for "carefully" means to diligently and accurately search for something. It's the antithesis of man-looking. It's the same word used in Matthew 2:8 when Herod sent the wise men to Bethlehem to "go and search diligently for the child (Jesus), and when you have found him, bring me word that I too may come and worship him." So, this is a term of calculated and deliberate searching.

I believe the verbiage here teaches us that although we are a new creation in Christ, wisdom doesn't necessarily come naturally to us. We are not naturally wise. In fact, I could make a strong argument from the Scriptures that we are naturally unwise. Put a little more bluntly, we are naturally foolish. Proverbs teaches us that there's a way that seems right to a man, but it ends in death. So, if wisdom came naturally to us, there would be no need to carefully look at how we're living. There would be no need to search for wisdom. There would be no need to ask for wisdom. Wisdom is never portrayed in the Bible as something that we naturally possess. It's a gift given by God that comes through careful searching (through study and counsel) and devout prayer— "If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach (Js. 1:3)."

Wisdom does not come naturally to us. Therefore, we never outgrow the need to evaluate how we're living. To walk in faithful obedience to Jesus, we must carefully consider how to walk in wisdom. It's good to open your Bible and prayerfully think about how you're living your life. It's good to think critically about the decisions you're making. It's good to carefully think about how you're managing your time. If we are going to live as wise followers of Jesus, we must survey how we're living our lives.

Now, what is wisdom?

Wisdom isn't simply intellectually knowing something; it's more of a skill. It's the skill of rightly applying information to action. Wisdom is the skill of understanding and implementing God's word in your life. It's the ability to skillfully and rightly navigate life in a God-honoring way. Wisdom is “skill in the art of Godly living.”

The Hebrew word for wisdom is "hakma," the same word used to describe two men, Bezalel and Oholiab, in Exodus 31. In Exodus 31, God told Moses that he called these two men, filled them with his spirit, and gave them the intelligence and ability (hakma) to be expert craftsmen to build the tabernacle— "See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, 3 and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability (hakma) and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, 4 to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, 5 in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft."

So, God filled these men with skill (hakma), the artistic ability to create and build the tabernacle of God. So, wisdom is 'skill in the art of Godly living.' God gives us wisdom to become expert craftsmen on how to glorify God throughout our lives.

So, where the world says, "Live and learn." wisdom says, "Learn and live." Wisdom is available, so the gullible and naive can become crafty and cunning. Wisdom is available so that the young and innocent might find knowledge and discretion. The goal of wisdom is for us to walk through life and see, recognize, and then outfox the temptations that come our way. So, when the deceiver comes to lure us into sin, we can say, "No, thanks. I know where that leads." When your blood is boiling, and you want to lash out with your words, you can hold your tongue because you remember, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." When your heart begins to race at the beauty of someone other than your spouse, you can run because you remember that "their feet go down to death." When you would rather sit at your desk and scroll through social media, you can put your phone down and begin to work because you remember that "an idle person will suffer hunger."

Faithful Christian living resides in a devotion to carefully living and walking in wisdom, not foolishness. As followers of Jesus, we are to be wise, not foolish. And as followers of Jesus, we are to steward our time well. We are to "Look carefully then how we walk not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil." We should make the best use of our time. When it comes to the 24 hours of our day, we should understand that all things may be permissible, but not all things will be beneficial. Therefore, wise believers seek to manage their time as best they can.

Now, there's an interesting wordplay here in verse 16. The phrase "making the best use of the time" is the Greek word "exagorazō." It means to redeem by payment of a price to recover from the power of another. It's the same word used by Paul in Galatians— "Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law (Gal 3:13, 4:5)."

Surprisingly, this word was often used in reference to the slave market. In this case, it was used to describe the purchase price of a slave. At times, you would find a friend or relative who would buy a slave back from captivity to set them free. They would redeem their friend from the possession of another so that they might be set free. So, in Galatians, Paul is saying that we have been liberated, set free from the curse of the law by Jesus. The inescapable condemnation and guilt holding us down by the law no longer own us because of what Jesus has done for us. Jesus has paid our ransom. He has paid the steep price for our sins. Death and damnation no longer own those who reside in Jesus. The one who knew no sin became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God. Jesus has redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.

Well, in Ephesians 5, Paul is saying that those Christ has redeemed should now begin to redeem their time. The days are evil. They are a cruel master full of various labors, pressures, annoyances, and hardships. But now, we are to redeem our time from the captivity of the evil days. The evil days no longer bind us. We have been free from the various pressures this world throws us. We can now walk in wisdom and redeem our time back from the evil one.

But what does this practically look like for each of us?

Well, Paul intentionally leaves it somewhat vague here. How this practically plays out in our day-to-day lives will vary from person to person. But, the common ground for each of us is obedience to the will of God for the glory of God.

Paul says in Ephesians 5:17, "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." The word for "foolish" here In verse 17 differs from "unwise" in verse 15. It's a more offensive term. It's like Paul is saying, "Don't be stupid! Instead, understand what the will of the Lord is."

When we say "Will," we're not talking about the Fresh Prince of Belair. We're talking about God's purpose for our life and history. The will of the Lord is one of the most sought-after things for a young believer. We want to know, "What is God's will for my life?"

When we look at this word, I think it's two-fold. There's God's general will and his particular will.

God's general will is bound up in his purpose of blessing mankind through Christ. We see this word used in Ephesians 1 three different times to describe God's plan of redemption— "In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth… In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory."

So, it was God's will to adopt us as sons through Jesus Christ "to the praise of his glorious grace," his will to unite us to Himself in Christ, and his will to extend to us an inheritance "to the praise of his glory." If I could summarize this for you, it would be this: God's will for your life is for you to be joined to him in a glorious relationship through His Son.

So, what is God's will for your life? For you to intimately and personally know God as your Father.

God's will for your life is to save you. But, it's also to sanctify you. Paul, in Romans 12:2 says, "Be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." In 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Paul says, "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you should abstain from fornication." So, put simply, God's will for your life is to make you more like Jesus so that you can make much of Jesus.

But, many of us will lose sleep over what God's particular will is for our lives. Should I go to this school or that school? Should I take this job or that job? Should I date this person or that person? Should I move there or stay here? Should I play on this team or that team?

We're all faced with stressful decisions that must be made in this life, and this is where things get foggy for many of us. And I think this is where this week's passage offers us tremendous counsel and comfort.

For one, these verses remind us that it's ok (and honestly good) to struggle with these decisions. We are to look carefully at how we walk, not as unwise but as wise. The wise doesn't stress about the future, but the fool doesn't plan for the future. God, in his infinite grace, offers us wisdom and guidance. He doesn't leave us to walk through life alone. He invites us to ask for wisdom and promises to give us wisdom. God, in his infinite grace, has given us the Holy Spirit to lead and comfort us. God, in his infinite grace, has given us the Bible, filled with general principles to guide us. In his infinite grace, God has given us the church to walk through life with us, offering us wisdom and counsel that's in accord with God's word.

But, if God's general will is wrapped up in the redeeming work of Christ, then his particular will for your life is wrapped up in the redeeming work of Christ, as well. God's will for your life is for you to know, love, and follow Jesus so that you can glorify Jesus. Understanding the Lord's will for our lives means to pattern our lives after Jesus so that we might make much of Jesus.

So, are you making the best use of your time as a follower of Jesus?

Some of us may be workaholics, putting work above everything else in life. So, perhaps we need to make the best of our time by resting. For others of us, we may be slothful and lazy. So, perhaps we need to make the best of our time by working. Some of us have busy schedules, and we need to dial back. For others, we need to commit to more things. For some of us, making the best use of our time may be saying "no" more. For some of us, making the best use of our time may be saying "yes" more. But, at the end of the day, whatever we commit to, may it be done to the glory of the Lord with the hope of making much of Jesus.

Ephesians 5:7-14

Today, in Ephesians 5, we will again see how Jesus's resurrection impacts how we live as believers. We were once dead, but now we are alive. We were once asleep, but now we are awake. We were once darkness, but now we are light. And now we're learning how to walk as children of the light. 

Tony Merida summarizes this passage by saying, "When awakened Christians, who were once darkness but are now light, shine the light of truth and righteousness in a dark world with their words and deeds, they make visible the shameful and secretive deeds of darkness; they may also be used to help those in darkness come to the light themselves."

Let's dive in. 

"[7] Therefore do not become partners with them; [8] for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light [9] (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), [10] and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. [11] Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. [12] For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. [13] But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, [14] for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 

 "Awake, O sleeper, 

and arise from the dead, 

 and Christ will shine on you." 

The first thing I want us to notice here is the transformation of nature. If you remember, in last week's passage, Paul reminds the church that the sexually immoral, impure, and covetous people "will not inherit the kingdom of Christ and God." The wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience. 

Following this warning, Paul urges the church not to partner with these people. Partner implies being a fellow worker with someone. It's someone carrying out a common task with a common goal. So, the church ought to take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness. We must distance ourselves from the wickedness described here in these verses. We are to be "in the world" but not "of the world."

Why must we avoid partnering with the wicked? Because our identity has changed— "At one time we were darkness, but now we are light in the Lord."

Verses 7-8 highlight a fundamental aspect of the gospel. They teach us that a change of identity leads to a change of living, not the other way around. 

The call of Christ is not to "get your life together so that you might be saved;" it's "come to Christ (empty-handed) so that you might be saved." But the one who comes to Christ for salvation encounters transformation. Something fundamentally changes in you. When you trust in Jesus for your salvation, your identity changes. You were once, by nature, children of wrath, but now you are children of God. You were once by nature children of darkness, but now you are a child of light. To confess Jesus as Savior is to confess him as Lord. 

So, good works are the fruit of salvation, not the root of our salvation. They are an outflow of a new identity in Christ. Now that you are in Christ, the light of the world, you are no longer darkness but light. Our identity has changed, and now that our identity has changed, our actions should also change. We are to learn the new ways of Christ, and we are to walk as children of light. We ought to "let our light shine before others, so that they may see our good works and give glory to our Father who is in heaven (Mt. 5:16)." 

But what does walking in the light look like practically? 

Well, I think this passage shows us it's twofold: there are things we do and things we don't do. 

As we see in verse 9, the fruit of light is found in all that is "good and right and true." So, walking in the light is demonstrated through good, right, and true actions. Together, these three words communicate the idea of maintaining an uprightness of heart and life. It's the act of consistently living with integrity and generosity. It's the act of doing the right thing because it's the right thing whether people are watching or not. It's a devotion to truth, no matter the cost. 

Walking in the light is demonstrated through good, right, and true actions. But, it's also found in taking "no part in the unfruitful works of darkness." Walking in the light resides in an avoidance of darkness. It's avoiding selfish living. It's avoiding corrupt living. It's avoiding falsehood. 

Perhaps this seems a little vague, so Paul then says we should "try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord." Discern means to carefully examine, test, or approve. It's putting something under a microscope to determine its worthiness.

This tells us two things regarding the Christian faith. 

        1. It tells us that a central element of the Christian life is trying to figure out how to honor God. 

        2. It tells us that not everything is black and white in this life. 

As believers, we should desire to please God with how we live, and we should strive to please God with how we live. I'm convinced our lives would be fundamentally different if we let God's pleasure drive our decision-making. Our lives would be a bright light in a dark world if we sought to honor him in everything we did. So, we should go to God in prayer and ask him, "God, is this pleasing to you?" "God, are you pleased with the way I'm working?" "God, are you pleased with how I'm living out my faith?" "God, are you pleased with the way I parent?" "God, are you pleased with how I interact with my spouse?" "God, are you pleased with my relationship with my boyfriend/girlfriend?" 

Paul then says, "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light."

By this point, we should understand the first part of verse 11. As children of light, we aim to live fruitful lives for the Lord. So, we should take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness. The way we once lived, we should live no more. 

But, we should not only abstain from the sinful works of darkness but also expose them. The word expose means to reprove or convict. It's the act of drawing light upon the sinful works of darkness. 

I want to take a few minutes to tease this out. How do we practically expose the works of darkness in this life? 

On the one hand, I think that (given the context of this passage) we expose the works of darkness by not participating in them—your attempt to walk as the light will expose the darkness. Your attempt to live out the gospel will expose the sin of those around you. 

Look at verse 11– "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them." 

A tangible way we can expose the works of darkness is by taking no part in the works of darkness. We expose the works of darkness by not participating in them. When you're at work, and your co-workers are objectifying women, and you choose to honor and respect women, you're exposing the works of darkness. When you're at practice, and everyone cuts the run short, and you choose to run the full distance, you're exposing the works of darkness. When all your co-workers lie on their time sheets, and you don't, you expose the works of darkness. When all your friends are sleeping with their girlfriends, and you're not sleeping with your girlfriend, you're exposing works of darkness. When you submit your life to Jesus and seek to walk in obedience to Jesus, your life will undoubtedly stand out in a dark world, which will, in return, expose the works of darkness. One of the most convicting things in life is seeing someone walk in the light while you're walking in darkness.

But, another element of exposing the works of darkness is found in a believer's willingness to call out darkness with their words. We can expose the works of darkness by speaking the truth about them. We can expose the works of darkness by boldly, lovingly, and gently saying, "My dear friend, you are living in sin, and the wages of sin is death. There's a better way. There's hope for you. Wake up and come to the light. Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." 

Sometimes, silence is the answer. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes, silence could be the most unloving thing you could do for someone. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do as a child of light is to speak the truth about the darkness in this world. But, as we expose the works of darkness, we don't do so with rude, snarky, and combative language. Your goal in exposing the light isn't to win an argument, nor is it to humiliate your neighbor. Your goal is to win a brother or sister. Notice the progression in verse 13, "When anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." So, for someone to come to know Jesus, their sin must first be brought to light. Darkness will remain darkness until the light shines.

So, could a lack of revival stem from our unwillingness to expose darkness? Could our fear of rejection be why we don't see men and women come to know Jesus? I think it's fair to say that if we were bolder in living and proclaiming the gospel, we would certainly see more darkness become light. 

Paul concludes by saying, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Some commentators believe this is a reference to different verses found in Isaiah. Others think it references a popular hymn or an early church confession used during baptism. Here, in this confession, we find a beautiful summary of the Christian life. We were all asleep, dead in our trespasses and sins, but God has called us to life. Someone shared the gospel with us somewhere along the line, and we heard the call to wake up! And now we've surrendered our lives to Jesus. His light has shined on our hearts and lives, leading to use being a light in the world of darkness. Like Moses' face and skin shining brightly from his encounter with the glory of God when he came down from Mount Sinai, we shine bright because we've encountered a relationship with the risen Lord, Jesus Christ!

Ephesians 5:3-8

Today, we will look at a passage in Ephesians that contrasts the lifestyle of a life outside God's kingdom and the lifestyle of a life inside of God's kingdom. A specific etiquette should be found within the kingdom of God. As God's people, there are things we do and things we don't do.

Today, we will learn that God's people will seek to honor God with their bodies, hearts, minds, and mouths. 

At the start of Ephesians 5, we find Paul calling the church to be imitators of God. We are to do as God has done. We are to live as Christ has lived. We are to serve as Christ has served. We are to love as Christ loves. If we could summarize the way of God's kingdom down to one thing, it would be self-sacrificing love. Those in Christ are called to crucify their selfish hearts so that they can selflessly serve one another in a manner that reflects the cross. 

Here, in Ephesians 5:3, Paul contrasts selfless living with selfish living. No matter how the world tries to package it, sexual immorality is not an expression of love. We will learn today that God expects his people to handle the gift of sex with a selfless, humble, gentle, and thankful heart. In a world that uses sex for selfish gain, God expects his people to view and use sex selflessly. Sex is not a drug that we flippantly use to satisfy our fleshly cravings; it is a gift from the Lord that we seek to use in a selfless manner that brings glory to God.

Let's dive in.

"[3] But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. [4] Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. [5] For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. [6] Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. [7] Therefore do not become partners with them; [8] for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord."

In looking at verse 3, Paul lays out three sins that a believer ought to avoid: sexual immorality, impurity, and covetousness. When you read through the New Testament, both sexual immorality and impurity are consistently linked together. I would argue that they're two sides of the same coin. Together, they encompass all sexual sins.

Sexual immorality is the Greek word porneia. It's where we get the word pornography from. It describes forbidden sexual intercourse. Impurity (akatharsia) is to be physically or morally unclean. It's an uncleanness that stems much deeper than the physical; it's an uncleanness of our hearts and motives. Paul here says we are to put away "all impurity." So, together, these two words encompass every type of sexual sin you could imagine. 

To better understand sexual immorality and impurity, it might be helpful first to define sex. To understand what the Bible says we shouldn't do regarding sex, we need to understand what the Bible says we should do regarding sex. 

First and foremost, from a biological standpoint, sex is the act that leads to procreation. God gives us the gift of sex to fill the earth with people. It's the instrument to which children are conceived and born. 

But, you will also find in the Bible that God has a deeper design for sex than just procreation. God has created sex to be pleasurable and enjoyable. God has designed sex to be a selfless act of worship that a husband and a wife get to enjoy throughout their whole life together privately. Sex is a good gift from the LORD that God calls us to enjoy within the confines of marriage.

The book of Proverbs, for example, is explicit in what it calls a husband to do. We find the call to "Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful foe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated in her love." 

So, here we find four foundational pillars regarding sex: 

Sex is for marriage— "rejoice in the wife of your youth." 

This is a call to remain faithful to your spouse and your spouse alone. Do not acquire wandering eyes. 

Sexual immorality is the perversion of this. It's a husband no longer rejoicing in the wife of his youth and pursuing the comfort of another lover. It's a single person awakening love before its appointed time. It's one's attempt to open the gift of sex outside of the confines of marriage.

Sex is selfless— "Let your fountain be blessed."

Sexual immorality and impurity are expressed through an attempt to be blessed. But Godly sex is expressed through an effort to bless the spouse God has given you. God has created sex to be a selfless act of worship where you give yourself totally to your spouse. It's an expression of blessing. It's you saying, "I'm selflessly giving myself to you to bring you pleasure."

Sex is satisfying— "Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight."

In talking about money, Jesus says, "It is better to give than receive." I believe this principle to be true in marriage, as well. Sex is most satisfying when it's expressed through selfless worship.

The selfish heart is always left wanting more and is never satisfied. But, oh, the joy and pleasure that comes from a selfless heart.

Sex is private— "Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you."

The Christian faith is one of generosity. Jesus calls us to a high standard of sharing and giving. However, that type of generosity does not apply to the marriage bed. You are never to share with another what belongs to you and your spouse. You ought to be stingy and protective when it comes to the private and intimate parts of your marriage. Let no one peek behind the curtain of something designed to be so personal and private.

Church, this is one of the many reasons why pornography is so wicked. Pornography wages war against how God designed sex to be. Pornography is the act of making public something designed to be private. It's the act of inviting strangers to drink from a well that was created for one.

It's nobody's business what takes place between you and your spouse. And it's none of your business what happens between someone else and their spouse. Drink from your well. If you're not yet married, resist the temptation to go to someone else's well for a drink. God designed sexual intimacy to be enjoyed privately between a husband and a wife.

Sexual immorality and impurity are the thwarting of this good gift. It's your pursuit of pleasure in someone or something other than your spouse.

Think about it in terms of the garden. 

In the garden, God gave Adam the freedom to eat from any tree he wished, except one tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And, in the garden, God warned Adam what would happen if he sought to enjoy the fruit of the forbidden tree— "he would surely die." Yet, over time, the forbidden fruit's beauty and lure became more appealing than the accessible fruit. They eventually ate, and death entered the picture. 

The same is true here with sex. God says, "Hey, enjoy the good gift of sex within the confines I've given you, the confines of marriage." Yet, the enemy tempts us to taste the fruit of a forbidden lover. 

Sexual immorality and all impurity describe the various ways we seek to wage war against God's good design of sex. It's the act of having sex before marriage with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It's the act of a male making love to another male or a female making love to another female. It's the act of viewing pornography. It's the act of reading sexually explicit books or magazines. It's the act of fantasizing about someone other than your spouse. It's you seeking to find satisfaction and pleasure with anyone or anything other than your spouse. It covers what we do with our bodies, what we see with our eyes, what we think in our hearts, and what we say with our words. 

These things are the manipulation of God's good gift of sex. They are, at their very core, selfish and not loving. They will only lead to heartache and pain. Therefore, we should abstain from them. 

Right next to these things, we find the sin of covetousness (pleonexia). Covetousness is the greedy desire to have more. It comes in all different shapes and sizes, but it's primarily the act of looking at someone else's possessions and wanting them for yourself. This can be a car, house, job, or even someone else's spouse.

Paul says these things aren't even worth mentioning among the saints. This implies an extreme distance between a believer and these practices. 1 Thessalonians 4:7 says, "For God has not called us to uncleanness, but to holiness." So, there's no room for these sins within the life and heart of a believer. This may be who you once were, but this should no longer be who you are now. There's a new standard of living within the kingdom of God. When it comes to these sins, it's better to run than to fight. It's better to crucify than to entertain. It's better to be overly cautious than to be careless. God calls us to holiness. So, may we be holy with our body, with our eyes, with our hearts, and with our words. 

Paul then says, "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving." Interestingly, this is the only time we see these terms used in the Bible. Filthiness (aschrotēs) means obscenity, dishonor, or shamefulness. Foolish talk (morologia) means silly, empty, senseless, frivolous, or buffoonery. Crude joking (eutrapelia) means vulgar, witty, and harmful jesting. 

Given the context of what's being discussed here, we can summarize these three things as referring to a dirty mind expressing itself in dirty conversation. So, not only are we to be pure in our actions, but we are also to be pure in our speech. 

God's not anti-laughter; he is a God of joy and happiness. But God does care about the topic of our humor. There are things we can joke about and things we cannot joke about. There are things we should discuss and things we shouldn't discuss. Crude jokes can be a paintbrush for the imagination. They can be a way of inviting a neighbor into the privacy of your bedroom. So, let these things be far from your lips. Be careful what you're endorsing through laughter.

Instead of crude joking and vulgar talk, we should be people who give thanks. Thanksgiving is critical for the life of a believer. We should always be thankful for the many gifts God has given us. John Stott puts it this way, "All God's gifts, including sex, are subjects for thanksgiving, rather than for joking. To joke about them is bound to degrade them; to thank God for them is the way to preserve their worth as the blessings of a loving Creator." So, thankfulness is a tangible way in which we can hold highly the good gifts God has given us in this life.

Paul then goes on to warn the church, "For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord."

Here, we find strong language regarding what will happen to those who actively walk in these sins. Notice the parallel between the sins we are to avoid in verse 3 and the people described in verse 6. They're the same. Those who choose to walk in the sins listed above will have no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 

This should leave a lump in our throat. Yes, there is an unbelievable amount of grace for the sinner. We see it in the text: for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light. Every one of us is guilty of sin. Each of us has carried out the desires of our body and mind. Each one of us was once sexually immoral, impure, and covetous. But, not anymore! That's who we once were, but it shouldn't be who we are now. We've tasted the grace of Jesus, which has softened our hardened hearts, changing us from the inside out. 

Make no mistake. Those who choose to walk in these sins will have no home in heaven, and they will feel the full weight of God's wrath. 

Church, sometimes I fear that we try to dull down warning passages in the Bible and make them into something they're not. But warning passages are there to warn us. They're there to communicate to us the seriousness of sin. God will not tolerate sin. He hates sin. He's gone to extreme lengths to save us from the punishment of sin. So, as believers who have been saved from these sins, we seek to avoid them at all costs because we understand the seriousness of them.

As I've reflected on my own life and counseled many young men regarding sexual immorality, I've come to realize that two things keep us from walking in these sins: love and fear of God. 

Those who love God want to honor God with their actions, thoughts, and words. And those who fear God will turn away from evil. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; it prolongs life. Those who love and fear God won't want to continue walking in the wickedness they've been delivered from.  

Ephesians 5:1-2

There's a moment that has stuck with me as a father. About a year ago, I took our dog to the bathroom one evening. As I did so, my youngest son came with me. While standing at the edge of our porch, holding my son's hand, I unknowingly spit in the grass. Not even two seconds later, I watched my then two-year-old son lean over and spit in the grass, too.

I chuckled and smiled at the cuteness of my son imitating my actions, and then I grimaced at the thought of my wife finding out that I'd taught my son how to spit.

As parents, we've all been there before. We've all reached the moment when we realize we must be careful with what we say and do because our children are watching. Many of you, parents, have likely heard your child say something, and you've thought, "Where did they get that from?" Then you think, "Oh, shoot. They got that from me..."

You can think back on your own childhood, and you'll realize we imitate who we are around the most. Many of you likely say and do what you say and do because you got it from your parents. Your humor, your mannerisms, your hobbies, your occupation, the way about which you see life... you inherited these things through imitation.

This ought to be true of the Christian life, as well. Imitation is a key part of discipleship. We have a good Heavenly Father who loves us and who is worthy of our imitation.

The longer we walk with God, the more we should begin to live like God. The character of God ought to impact the character of his people. The decisions of God should impact the decisions of his people. How he serves, we should serve. How he loves, we should love. How he walks, we should walk.

The family of God is not a place where we get to seek selfish gain. Instead, it is a place where we humbly serve one another, laying down our lives for the well-being of others.

Let's dive in.

"[1] Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. [2] And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Every time we see the word "therefore," we must remember that the author is seeking to build an argument. He's linking what he's about to say with what he's previously said.

At the end of chapter 4, Paul calls us to "forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you." So, how God forgives is how we should forgive. If God forgives fully and unconditionally, then we should forgive fully and unconditionally. Now, at the start of chapter 5, Paul continues to build on this concept of doing as God has done.

This one verse could serve as the catalyst for the second half of Ephesians. It's a summary of how we ought to live as Christians. A central element of the Christian faith is doing as God has done. We are to "be imitators of God as beloved children."

There are two things I want to highlight here: (1) the concept of imitation and (2) our family relationship with God.

IMITATORS OF GOD

The word for imitator (mimētēs) means to be a follower of someone. It's the act of copying the behavior of another. So, again, a central element of the Christian faith is copying God, doing as God does. To imitate the Father, we must be close to our Father.

In 2005, Jamie Foxx won an Oscar for portraying Ray Charles in the movie Ray. Ray was a "biographical drama about R&B legend Ray Charles and chronicled his childhood in Florida, during which he became completely blind by age seven, and his rise to fame during the '50s and '60s."

I watched a documentary on this film this week, and what's interesting is the length to which Foxx went to imitate Charles. Foxx would spend countless hours a day watching and studying Ray's mannerisms. He would attend classes at the Braille Institute and wear special eye prosthetics that would render him blind for up to 14 hours a day. He mimicked everything from how Ray talked to how Ray walked to how Ray held his fingers while playing the piano.

I believe Foxx's example here teaches us a fundamental truth about Godly imitation.

First, Godly imitation doesn't happen by chance. Jesus says, "If anyone were to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." You don't accidentally follow someone. You don't stumble into living a life of godliness; it takes calculated intentionality. It takes devout study. It takes you fixing your eyes on God in His Word and studying His Word closely.

Psalm 119 says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word." So, do you desire to live a life for God? Do you desire to honor the Lord with your life? Guard your life with God's word. Godly imitation doesn't happen by chance.

Second, along those lines, it also teaches us that you cannot imitate God from afar. Our mannerisms will only begin to resemble those we're closest to. To be able to imitate God, we must walk with him closely. The longer you walk with God, the more you should begin to live like God.

Paul, in Ephesians 2, says, "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind."

So, before we became Christians, we followed the currents of this world, and we submitted to Satan, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience. In doing so, we carried out the desires of our body and mind. We did what we wanted to do. We did whatever felt right and sounded good to us. We were children of wrath.

But, when we embraced the gospel, placing our faith in Jesus, our last name changed. Our household changed. We were adopted into the family of God. We are no longer children of wrath; we are now children of God. Therefore, we're no longer following the world. We now follow God. Where we once walked far from God, we now seek to walk close to God. Where we once did what we wanted to do, we now do what God wants us to do.

We imitate those to whom we're closest. So, if you survey your life and conclude that godliness is far from you, could it be that you're far from God?

To walk like God, we must know how God walks. To serve like God, we need to understand how God serves. To forgive as God forgives, we need to know how God forgives. To love as God loves, we need to understand how God loves. God has given us everything we need pertaining to life and godliness. So, to live like Jesus, you must know Jesus. Immerse yourself in the Bible. Meditate on the Scriptures. Write them on your heart. Get to know God deeply and personally by studying the Bible daily. Bible study isn't a moral obligation that you have to do to receive salvation; it's an opportunity to get to know God on a deeper level.

BELOVED CHILDREN

The second thing I want to highlight is our family relationship with God. We are to "be imitators of God, as beloved children."

The word "beloved" is the exact word used by the Father in reference to Jesus in Matthew 3— "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." This phrase speaks of divine love, a favorite love, a love of priority and importance. Interestingly, when you look at the gospels, this term is used only in reference to Christ. But, after the gospels, this word is also used in reference to Christians, those in Christ.

I think these words have both vertical and horizontal implications.

Vertically, in the same way that the Father looked at His Divine Son (Jesus), he now looks at you and me. God is a good Father who loves his children deeply. In the same way the Father is pleased with Jesus, he is pleased with you. Because you are now in Christ, through faith in the finished work of the cross, God looks at you with total, divine pleasure. God loves you with a holy love of true delight. There is nothing you can do or say to make God any more pleased with you. If you are in Christ, you are a beloved child of God, and nothing will ever change this.

Horizontally, though, this should impact how we view and treat one another. If you flip through the rest of the New Testament, you will discover Christians referring to other Christians as "beloved brothers." We are not tolerated neighbors; we are beloved siblings. There should, therefore, be a deep love for our brothers and sisters within the family of God. How God loves us should shape how we love one another. We should look to each other with divine, Godly love.

Our love for one another doesn't depend upon superficial things. It doesn't depend upon our social status. It doesn't depend upon race. It doesn't depend upon what we can do for one another.

Our love and affection for one another depend upon our shared last name. We love God's family; we love our family. There should be a unique type of love present within the family of God, the church.

WALK IN LOVE

So, you aren't to imitate God as a distant follower; you are to imitate God as a beloved child. How God loves his children is how we should love one another. He says, "Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

We can't fully understand the depth of God's love until we first understand the cost of the cross. Yes, Jesus was beaten, mocked, and killed. But he suffered much worse than a physical beating on the cross. On the cross, Jesus took upon himself the punishment that we rightfully deserve. On the cross, he drank the full cup of God's wrath so we wouldn't have to. On the cross, Jesus gave himself up as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

God is love; it's fundamental to who he is. But, to understand God's love, we must understand his holiness and justice. God is so holy, righteous, and good that the Bible says he cannot sin. God is so just that he has to and will punish sin. And we've all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Therefore, we all deserve to pay the debt for our sins. We are all liable for God's punishment, deserving of his wrath.

Our sin has brought death, judgment, and separation. Judgement is coming. But this is where the cross becomes so beautiful and necessary. Jesus willingly marched to the cross to take upon himself the punishment we deserve. 2 Corinthians 5 says, "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." Jesus took upon himself the condemnation that we rightfully deserve so that we might be forgiven and free. Jesus redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us. Jesus' work on the cross is the ultimate display of sacrificial love. He died so we wouldn't have to.

God is calling us to love one another with this same radical and sacrificial love. So, what's the limit to which we should love? There is no limit! When should we withhold our love from one another? Never!

Christ-like love is humble, sacrificial, uncomfortable, costly, selfless, and eternally minded.